prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

The laugh catches Jonathan off guard but under the cover of darkness, the other couldn't read his confusion. Instead, he watches the other lay back down like he had been before, leaving him to simply sit in his spot for little while longer.

He's quiet for the moment, a hand grasping the front of his shirt while he tried to sort out his own feelings for the other. He glances over at Abel, "I thought about it but after everything you've dealt with today, it just didn't seem like the right choice." He's very much aware how easy it would have been to give in to the temptation of it.

There's a soft chuckle from him at the later comment, "I probably could... though I'm sure the heart will still do what it wants with little regard to that."

Abel shouldn't worry about tainting him. More powerful men have tried.

"Right is merely an opinion. There isn't really a right choice." Right really differed from person to person and he found that what someone considers the right choice could be wrong to another person. "I suppose it's more like whether you're a decent person or not." And Jonathan was really more than just a decent person.

And he imagines there is certainly no future because he wasn't what you would consider a decent person.

"Save yourself the trouble." Jonathan was either going to be heartbroken or he'll realize what he might be chasing is well out of reach and move on.

"Never really thought of it like that before." It certainly made sense. Rights were usually gut feeling that he couldn't ignore and he followed them. More oftentimes, it was hard to do because they usually fell under orders and he's forced to ignore it and the guilt of not following through plagued him afterward but he's learned to deal with that and accept it.

Jonathan is quiet before he chimes with, "What if I don't?" its a question he already knows the answer to, or at least, an idea as to how Abel would answer but he still asks it all the same. He knows its something he should give up pursuing if he wanted to save himself but he doesn't want to. Abel had reiterated that and yet, he's stubborn when it comes to the heart.

Abel says one thing but his actions say another and he finds it confusing.

"I think about it all the time," Abel replies with. Because he can say that plenty of the people he has had to interact with think what they're doing is right, but isn't what most may think is right. It really does boil down to perspective sometimes.

He's quiet for a moment before he speaks. "Do you imagine a future? With me? Honestly speaking." Because he really doesn't. They live very different worlds and Abel is no fool about his lot in life. "Because you're wasting your time and mine if you can't even imagine that."

A soft hum leaves him as a sort of reply. Guessing in the realm of the rich and powerful, rights vastly differed here than down the line. Thought the premise was rather the same. Jonathan tilts his head in thought for a second before replying.

"Had you asked me that months ago, I would've said no." He pauses, shifting a little to bring a leg up to his chest, leaning forward as he wraps his arms around it, "But recently, I've been putting a lot of thought into it, probably lost sleep over it a few times, if I'm being honest."

There were nights where he would lay awake, staring at the ceiling, mumbling to himself until the early rays of sunlight poked through the window. He tried not to let those sleepless nights affect his work though. Carrying on as if he got his usual sleeping hours when he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"I never pictured it as being easy especially while you're still attached to your father's leash but I always wonder what you'd be like off of it. If you'd actually be happier...if you'd actually be happy with someone like me..." He trails off. He's seen the way Abel interacts with people, how easily they fall for him despite knowing the other is probably just telling them what they wanted to hear. The other could have anyone that he wanted if he didn't push people away.

Jonathan glances over at the other, "So, yes. I have imagined a future with you and whether or not its given a chance is really up to you."

Ah, this is becoming quite a mess, Abel thinks. It was one thing for his emotions to be a mess and for him to get attached in whatever unhealthy way. It was another thing to drag someone else into the affair. To yearn for something that wasn't plausible. Possible. At least what he thought wasn't a possibility.

"You really do waste your time," Abel replies. He doesn't turn to look at the other, but his voice is a touch more sad than he wanted to let on. "It's not really up to me. I've not ever had control of my future, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Everything about his life had been at the whims of others. He can't imagine an escape from it. "Besides, I've never known a life outside a cage. I fear that I really don't know how to fly because I never learned."

It was a resignation. Defeat. For as unruly he was towards his father, the man had been rather successful in clipping his wings so to speak. He knew the harsh realities of life, yet still was so sheltered. He didn't know a thing about living outside of the gilded walls of the estate.

There's a soft chuckle, "Its not wasted time if its important." Yes, sleep is important to but outside of that, anything involving Abel will always be the top priority for Jonathan. Even if it was unrelated to the work he was doing here. He's quiet for a moment, collecting his thoughts, helping the other go against his father was a bit of a double edged sword.

Going up to his employer to ask for anything involving the other would likely been seen as a joke and dismissed or even a threat might occur against his continued employment. If he used force, it would get him fired or worse and then placed ten-folded on Abel. It really was a sort of lose-lose scenario when he really thought about it. But he didn't want to give up on the idea of freeing Abel from being trapped in such a cruel gilded cage.

Jonathan shifts to lean over the other again, this time reaching for one of his hands, his touch gentle as he lifts up his arm, just holding onto his hand between his. "Everyone can learn how to. You just need a gentle hand and patience. A life outside a cage isn't too hard if you have those."

He can't speak from experience, he's never lived in a cage like Abel does but if his parents told him anything its that if you're patient enough anything can work out in the end. He's hoping the same with happen with this.

A long pause. "Was there ever a time before the cage?" He asks softly, surely he wasn't always kept like this by his father. Abel must've had friends or some semblance of a normal life before all this?

Abel's actions and his words seemed to always work against each other. He doesn't push the other away at all. Instead, he entwines his fingers with Jonathan's own. He was probably giving the other nothing but mixed messages, but his situation was complex like that.

"I technically had all the freedom in the world. My father didn't care for me at all growing up. I was usually left to my own devices." His father hadn't cared about him, since he had an older brother. His father had only cared for who he had thought would be his heir and carry the family name and legacy. "I went to a fairly prestigious boarding school for a short while."

It was so long ago that he isn't sure he quite remembers a time where he had that kind of freedom. When his mind wasn't crushed under the weight of all the thoughts of everyone else. He doesn't really remember what it's like to have peace and quiet. "Things changed when my abilities manifested. I suddenly had worth," Abel spits out.

Since his employment, Jonathan has learned to not take everything that Abel says or does at face value, especially under circumstances like these. As the other entwines his fingers with his, he makes sure to keep the hold light and gentle, what with Abel's bandaged hands and all.

The longer he listens to Abel's recount, the more it really pieces together just how long the other has been trapped in his gilded cage. Abel went from not even being on his father's radar to suddenly being important enough to keep close, protected and leashed. But he wouldn't place any of this under love, more under personal gain and nothing more.

He stares at the silver cuff on Abel's wrist in the dark, "Had they never manifested... you would be living a completely different life, I imagine." They never would have met. Or rather, they might've, just under completely different circumstances but their relationship wouldn't be like this, he thinks.

Jonathan hadn't been at Abel's side all his life, nor had he been in his charge for years, only months. Even then, he found it a bit difficult to imagine not to working with him or not having him around at all. What will he do once his contract was up? Ask for an extension? Would that be too suspicious from his father's perspective?

.... Guess he really was a more attached to the other than he originally thought.

He presses a kiss to the back of Abel's hand before he moves to finally lay back down, keeping the other's hand close to his chest.

"Had I not been naturally extraordinary, I would have been free to pursue whatever I pleased. As long as it didn't tarnish my family name, it wouldn't have mattered what I decided I wanted to do. Hell, he probably wouldn't care if I did nothing with myself," Abel replies. As long as he didn't cause any scandal, it would have probably been an ideal livelihood in luxury.

"Fame and fortune hardly as grand as people think it is." He thinks he would have been happy to live a painfully average life. At least he might be happy if he had.

Not that he can really imagine what that would be like either. His experiences are limited, and all he had was stories that he had read in books or the lives of other elites that he interacted with so regularly. He wasn't sure what being average was really like.

"I guess we should probably sleep." Perhaps he no longer wants to talk about how dreadfully depressing his life was. A change in subject or more like the dropping of it completely.

What a life that would be, he thought. If he could free the other from this place, he could still live a fairly average life. It would take work to get to that point and a fair amount of learning and maybe its a little silly for Jonathan to cling to such an uncertain hope for a better future but Abel deserves the chance at something far better than this.

"I can certainly believe that." There's an almost playful tone to his voice, thinking back to when Abel questioned the authenticity of his want for being friends without the need for something else in return. Fame and fortune were definitely things he could live without.

Jonathan was happy to drop the subject at the mention of sleep, knowing full well that Abel needed the rest more than anyone. "We probably should. Its been a long enough day as is." He can definitely see sleeping in as a possibility in the morning since he can't imagine either of them jumping at the chance to wake up at a decent time, especially after today.

"I'll wake you again if you have another nightmare." He says as he gives Abel's hand a reassuring squeeze. Its not like he can really ignore the other now that they were close; he may sleep like the dead but he'll snap out of it just a quickly as before.

Jonathan doesn't drift off to sleep right away but rather, stares up at the ceiling, keeping his thoughts to a minimum before eventually his eyes get heavy and allows himself to sleep.

When love became an act of defiance

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