prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

That wasn't a reaction she was expecting from the other but knows she was in the wrong, "I apologize. That was... incredibly insensitive of me..." Sayre hadn't pressed Jonathan for any in-depth details about Abel, she was only giving parental advice when she didn't know the full scope of the hardships Abel had gone through.

His mother certainly wasn't messing around when she said that life would be cruel to him. She's quiet for a little while before Abel comments on his father being a 'powerful old bastard', she doesn't disagree with it because she remembers what the man was like but she also knows there might be others much more powerful than him too. But saying such wouldn't make this any better.

Sayre would've offered to help with the cigarette but she had already pressed a button too far with the other. It was best to hang back.

"This place will always be open to you, should you ever need it in the future." She replies before placing a hand on Abel's head for a moment, "You're a good kid, Abel. A good kid who was dealt a cruel hand but do try to enjoy the borrowed time you do have, okay?" She says with a soft smile before she leaves Abel behind for a short walk down the street to mull over some thoughts and process some years worth of self-inflicted guilt.

Its some time of Abel being left alone before Matthew, her husband that works alongside her, pokes his head out of the door, completely surprised to see Abel alone and Sayre not being with him like he had assumed. He asks where she might've run off to before he follows in whatever direction her scent leads him to.

He regrets it a little; not keeping his temper in check. He doesn't like the bitter taste of her feelings in the back of his throat. Abel takes a drag from his newly lit cigarette to try and drown that awful feeling down. An anxious tapping of his foot that betrays his attempt to seem calm.

And he knows he wants to be mad. Be upset. It was easier to be mad and to focus his feelings on anger than to focus on that feeling of helplessness. But Sayre places her hands on his head and all that anger leaves his body leaves his body. That gesture and her smile before she steps away to leave reminds him, for just a moment, of his mother and he feels something break just a little. A shaky breath and he rubs at his eyes a little.

How he misses his mother.

Abel has all but regained his composure by the time Matthew addresses him and disappears to find Sayre. He finally finishes whatever cigarette he was on (he had lost track) before making his way back into the house. He had stepped out to clear his head and breathe a bit, but he feels like that he accomplished neither.

Sayre has all but made it to the end of the street, standing at the corner before Matthew had finally caught up with her. She rambled under her breath about scenarios that could've been if she had done more to help back then. If she just broke her contract or if she had lashed out or said something. Maybe things could've played out differently. If only she had done more. As if she was ever in a position of power to do anything but be an obedient hired guard.

Matthew offers some comfort to the best of his abilities before guiding his wife back in the direction of the house.

When Abel walks back into the house, everyone had gone to do their own thing for a bit while leaving Jonathan in the room to finish washing the stack of dishes and one of his brothers was putting leftover food into tupperware containers and into the fridge before he too, eventually leaves. Leaving only the two of them in the space.

"You doing okay? You were out there for a while." He asks, stopping the task he was working on and wiping his hands off. Jonathan had expected his parents to come back alongside him but they hadn't and he wonders what might've happened out there.

There's a twitch in his hand and there's a moment of wanting another cigarette already. A terrible habit, but one of the only things he ever had to deal with his nerves. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his slacks as he had nothing better to do with them and the last thing he needed to do was start fussing.

Also, it was probably better not to let the other see his new burns, though Jonathan might smell it.

It takes him longer to form a proper answer. "I feel as though I might be inconveniencing your family and yourself," he finally says. Abel just can't help but feel somewhat out of place and that him being here was only causing issues more than anything. "I'm fine, though I suppose I may have upset your mum."

Jonathan notices the faint smell of burnt material but he doesn't question it, assuming it had something to do with whatever happened outside and knowing the burn scars the other has on his hands, they were likely related. He rounds the counter and walks over towards the other, giving Abel a reassuring smile, "You're not being an inconvenience here, I promise you."

He wanted Abel to be comfortable but he can understand why the other might be feeling that way.

"She'll be fine. I kind of figured she might get a bit emotional if she got the chance to speak to you after what she asked me to tell." He rubs at his own arm as he glances away for a moment, "I apologize for that... it must've comes as a surprise. We normally don't discuss work at home but she was very persuasive." He tries to explain.

Jonathan hadn't known that his mother had a job with Abel's family before until just recently, he'd mention Abel before once or twice in as little detail as possible for advice when he was still new into this contract.

"Hmm." He makes a sound in the back of his throat, but doesn't push it. He isn't quite convinced, but he doesn't argue either. He feels too out of place to take Jonathan's words at face value, despite his thoughts not betraying the other in anyway.

"I remember her," Abel replies with a bit of a shrug. "I wouldn't say it was a surprise, but I didn't expect me to leave any lasting impression. I'm a dime a dozen, so she had no reason to remember me." For being extraordinary at magic, he didn't find himself as someone worth remembering. He ignores the many obvious why he feels that way.

He folds his arms over his chest and he pauses for a moment. "You told her." It isn't accusing, surprisingly enough. More resigned.

For some reason, Jonathan wasn't expecting the other to remember her so now he stands corrected. "You underestimate how rare working alongside children is in our line of work." He replies, out of everyone he's ever worked for in his career, children and repeated clients are the only ones that ever stand out for him. Though, he can't fully speak for his mother in that regard because her client list is far more extensive than his.

"I didn't mention it at first." He starts, "I... had no intention of telling her at all until she started to press for more information as to if your mother still lived with you and wondered how things were without her and as soon as i accidentally let it slip, she just... stopped asking." He furrows his brows as he recalled that conversation.

Jonathan didn't know about the history his mother had with Abel's, Sayre refused to speak about it. The tiny slip of information seemed like a final piece to puzzle she had been trying to finish for years.

He felt like he betrayed Abel's trust by telling her such a crucial part of him that his father took to great lengths to keep on a need to know basis. Jonathan trusted his mother enough to know she wouldn't anything with such information; she wasn't that kind of person.

"I was a mostly quiet child," Abel retorts. It hasn't even occurred to him that perhaps his idea of him not being memorable was more of a twisted view of himself. One built from neglect.

Abel taps his foot for a moment as he mulls over Jonathan's words for a moment. "You read your contract fully when it was given to you, yes?" He purses his lips as he continues to go over his thoughts before continuing. "That isn't...You don't get to keep that knowledge when you leave." And Abel says it with the full knowledge that it was unlikely that Jonathan won't eventually be fired.

It stopped being about trying to make the other fed up enough to quit, but a resignation that Jonathan's employment was temporary.

"And it is I who does it," he finally says. His father did not care to do the dirty work and Abel never really had issue before about it. There's something painful about it now though. It wasn't that Jonathan would forget him, but removing particular details about himself from Jonathan's memories left a bitter taste. "Your only saving grace is that your contract wasn't made by magic. I had gone through enough people that I suppose my father felt no need to bind you by magic, or it would have been over when you let it slip." A misstep on his father's part, but he guesses that it was tedious to keep doing it if they were going to quit within the first few months.

And Abel was not about to make it known that information was leaked.

Abel being a quiet child growing up fit with the assumption he had made without knowing the specifics but rather basing off how he was an adult.

"Of course, I did." The conditions of his position made it necessary to read any documents in full, even if there was small print included. He wouldn't skip out on the details that kept him employed but he realizes the ripple effect leaking information might have if Abel's father ever found out.

Jonathan's brows furrow and he bites the inside of his lip at the new information of Abel being the one to wipe certain details from memory and not his father. He didn't like that. Despite knowing it was always bound to eventually happen, it didn't make it hurt any less.

"Guess I was just lucky in that regard. Though, you made it rather difficult in the beginning there, I was so close to wanting to quit." He raises his hand to make a tiny space between his index finger and his thumb as he joked about having thought about quitting despite the fact, he wouldn't and didn't.

He reaches out to cup the side of Abel's face as he gives the other a soft smile, "It'll be fine. You do what you have to when the time comes. Its not like I'd completely forget you, right?" Jonathan asks as if that was some possibility, which he hopes it wouldn't. He's not sure what he'd do if he'd completely forgot about him and he doesn't want to linger on that thought either.

"Besides, if I get the opportunity to see you again after all this, under better circumstances, I'll get to relearn those parts of you again." Maybe he sounds too optimistic that they'd meet again in the future whether he's contract ended naturally or he was fired but he refuses to believe this would be the only time he'd see Abel.

Abel can't help but click his tongue at that. "You should have. I stand by it," he replies with a bit of a huff. There's a lack of bite in his words, but he doesn't mean it any less. Though, he doesn't know if it would be for Jonathan's sake or his own.

Yet, he leans into every touch Jonathan gives him. His heart flutters with smile. "You wouldn't, but is that really better?" It would be better to completely forget, wouldn't it? Jonathan remembering him would be much more painful than forgetting him completely wouldn't it? Are memories of him that valuable to the other?

And he really can't figure the other out. How can they be so optimistic? Better circumstances? Relearn things? Why is Jonathan so sure that they would see each other again? "What makes you think we'll see each other again? You seem so sure that there will be a future for us." He doesn't even mean one between them. Just this implication that they'll interact again.

As mind boggling as Jonathan's actions and thoughts were, there was something so endearing and sweet about it. Or maybe it was merely because he never had anyone be so loyal to him in such a heartfelt manner. Perplexing, honestly.

All Jonathan can do is smile playfully, "You should've tried a little harder." It wouldn't have changed the outcome, he thinks, but it probably would've driven him up the wall.

There is a flash of pain in his expression as his thumb brushes over Abel's cheek, "I'd rather lose a fraction of you than all of you." He wouldn't trade any of the memories he had of Abel for anything in the world. He'd rather yearn than completely forget as if all this time together never existed.

It took so long to earn Abel's trust, to see him smile that wasn't completely forced, to watch him look at the world outside of the cage his father kept him with such wonder, the soft moments where is other wasn't completely awake. Those moments, among others, were irreplaceable.

Jonathan tilts his head at the question, "I'm no seer... Its just a feeling I have." He knows its a naive answer to give but its all he has. Jonathan has seen the people at the events and meetings he accompanies Abel to, it wouldn't be difficult to be hired by one those families after his contract was over or if he was fired. The only worry his has with the latter is his name could easily be sullied by his father in this particular circle if that man wished it.

It wouldn't stop him from trying to seek the other though, even if it would be difficult.

"You're unnecessarily stubborn. Git," Abel says. He can't help the slight upturn of his lips. A fond expression despite his admonishing.

The expression. The feeling. The taste. It actually manages to make Abel a small gagging sound. He doesn't like it. Decidedly, he doesn't want to experience that again. Decidedly, he realizes, how much he wants Jonathan to be happy.

As far as revelations go, this was honestly pretty underwhelming. He knew of this already deep down. Denial, he finds, clings to your mind and destroys reason. And love was, well, something of a foreign emotion and experience. Yet, Jonathan seemed intent on giving it to him in spades.

He should say something in response. To Jonathan not wanting to lose him completely. To still want to see him even once everything falls apart. Instead, he wraps his arms around Jonathan's neck to pull him into a kiss. Probably a bit awkward to kiss him in his home where his siblings and parents can easily walk in on them. Frankly, he doesn't care.

"I know." He replies. He's heard Abel say that more than once and nothing's changed.

Jonathan goes easy as Abel pulls him into the kiss, his hands settling on the other's hips. He didn't think it was awkward to be kissed here of all places, it wasn't like he wouldn't be able to hear anyone coming up on them and he knows the worst his folks would do if they walked in on this, would be to tease him endlessly. None of that seemed to matter right now though.

The kiss felt like an answer to a question he didn't have to ask. He pulls away just a fraction for a brief moment to smile before he presses another kiss against the other's lips. The kiss was different than the one he had initiated the last time, of course, circumstances weren't the same. There hadn't been a nightmare. He always did wonder if he had been in the wrong for that one, it wasn't the best way to try an comfort the other in such a situation but his feelings had gotten the better of him then.

In this moment, Jonathan was happy, even if it felt like his heart was racing too fast and the feeling of butterflies filled his stomach. He completely forgot about the danger that potentially waited back home for them both.

Abel had always been fond of kisses. He liked the taste of others and he liked the distraction. That being said, he had never found kisses to be anymore than just a physical affection and affection was used rather graciously in this sense. Affection perhaps the wrong word to use when he only ever been in it for the pleasure. He couldn't say he cared much about his partners and he knew that his partners didn't care back in return. It was shallow at best.

With Jonathan though. Kisses felt like fresh air. Like he suddenly knew what it felt like to be alive; a feeling long forgotten.

He'll take whatever he can get from the other; more than happy to return the kiss. He threads his fingers in Jonathan's hair before pulling back slightly. "You're also a terrible influence, I'm finding." And yet, he can't help but smile softly at the other.

Physical touch was one of Jonathan's love languages, besides his use of general affection. Kisses were certainly something he'd never tire of, even if he was rather selective of his partners. He may not have had as many as Abel, mostly out of lack of time but he knew to give them his complete attention and care.

Jonathan tilts his head against the other's touch, "Oh? How so?" He asks innocently enough, wrapping his arms around the other and hoisting him up to carefully maneuver towards the couch where he plops against it, allowing the other to straddle his lap. He knew better than to do anything risky worthy here but it beat having to take the time to go back upstairs, at least for the moment.

He still keeps close as he keeps his arms around the other loose. He didn't think he'd have much power in terms of influencing the other in any way but he stands corrected in that regard.

Abel easily lets the other lift him up. He had always been rather lithe in form and Jonathan had always shown to be rather powerful. Physically, the other trumped him in strength, though that really wasn't hard when he spent much of his time working.

He seems rather comfortable where he's seated and tilts his head as he seems to observe the other.

"I've never pegged myself as a romantic," he says with a bit of a shrug. Maybe that's a bit of a lie though. Abel had always been enamored by things like true love and love at first sight. Complete devotion. Things that were devoid in his life and ideas that he never thought would apply to him. Romance was merely fairytales and fiction.

His smile turns a little more sly though. "I expected you to be a little more prudent given where we are though." His tone was rather teasing.

"And yet, you gravitated towards the romance novel sections at the bookstores yesterday." He replies with a raised brow, a bit skeptical. Their adventure in the city only gave him brief glances at what he suspected Abel's interests were without the other explicitly saying so. Romance was a concept, he thought, that everyone longed for in some shape or form.

"Maybe... I'm not the only one who's a terrible influence." Jonathan smirks in return, he didn't have the confidence with previous partners to ever have them like this in the middle of his parent's living room. Not even as a teenager like his siblings. He had always been one to keep such instances of affection behind a closed or locked door.

Now, he felt a bit more bold, even if he'd still crumble easily out of embarrassment if the situation tipped out of his favor.

Edited 2020-06-26 21:52 (UTC)

The comment manages to fluster the Brit. It makes sense for Jonathan to have a keen eye and keep note of particulars about him, but being called out in such a manner- "So I find them the most interesting to read. I hardly would call myself a romantic because I read them," he replies with a huff.

A click of his tongue. "And you're blaming me for your boldness? I could certainly make things more exciting if that's what you're implying," he replies with a slightly raised eyebrow.

He is certainly not opposed, though it's a very different situation because he had never been attached to anyone he decided to lay with.

He doesn't actually expect anything to happen either.

Jonathan smiles softly at the other, "I think it still counts as romantic points. You like the elements in them, right?" He hadn't read many romance novels, maybe when he was younger, but he's certainly watched more romance films than he could keep track of, thanks to his sisters. He thought it was rather adorable for the other to have an interest in them, "Have I crossed off any romantic boxes yet?"

His hands slide down the outside of Abel's thighs before he brings up a hand to gently take hold of one of the other's hands that were tangled in his hair, to press a soft kiss against his bandage palm.

He chuckles a bit, "I'm not blaming you, no. If anything, I should be thanking you." There wasn't a doubt in his mind that the other was able to make things more exciting. He was a bit nervous about what that might've meant though, in a good way.

Jonathan liked to take things slow, if his slow build up to this point wasn't obvious enough, so taking things to the next level likely wouldn't happen here of all places where his family was nosy to a point. But he also knows how quickly things could change in the heat of the moment too.

Abel doesn't answer the other. Why did he like romance novels?

He really doesn't want to get into it. That's a little too much to expose about himself and he's not quite ready to bare his soul that much to the other. He'll just flush a bit and frown (pout?). "You've failed them all," he says. What a brat. He's definitely being a brat.

It's impossibly hard to be mad at the other when they're being so incredibly sweet. He tilts his head slightly; puzzled. "Thank me for what? I've not done a thing," Abel says curiously. Jonathan manages to confuse him despite him being able to read his thoughts. He just never quite understood them.

Jonathan pretends be a bit hurt that he missed the marks, tilting his head a little and placing his own hand on his chest, "I honestly thought I would've hit at least one." He says, before he ends up smiling, "Guess, I'll just have to try harder."

He has an idea of where to start but of course, Abel was a little difficult to read when he still knew only a fraction about what he liked. It was like he was tossing everything he knew into the wind and seeing how the other would react to it. So far, its been generally positive.

His expression softens as he drops his gaze for a moment, "You didn't have to. Its a little hard to explain but you make me want to be better and its a thought I hadn't had before this particular job." Working alongside the other had certainly taught him a lesson on being more patient but also more empathetic and not to complete judge a book by its cover.

"You try much too hard already," Abel says with a bit of an exasperated tone. This guy was unbelievable.

He looks bewildered for a moment. He would consider the other lying if he were not privvy to Jonathan's thoughts. Why would someone want to be better when he, himself, was something so dirty and irredeemable. He doesn't understand other than it's a reminder that the other was way out of his league.

"Be better," his tone skeptical. "Have I ever told you that I really cannot make any sense of you? And I can read every single thought you have."

"You aren't the easiest person to court, you know. Its takes a bit of an effort." He says a bit amused. He hadn't considered that he was putting too much of an effort, clearly he had been according to the other. If it bothered him so, he would lighten up on the effort.

"You have mentioned it before, yes." He tilts his head, "Perhaps, you're putting too much thought into something so simple." Jonathan slides this arms around Abel's waist again. He didn't see Abel like he had seen himself, he wanted to show him that he was worth taking a chance for when so many others left him behind because of the walls he put up or because they didn't want to bother with putting for the effort.

He said it once before, that the other deserved to by happy, and he still stands by that. Abel deserved to experience all that was taken from him by his father and more.

"You shouldn't be trying to court me in the first place," he replies with a roll of his eyes. "You really only have yourself to blame at this point."

He frowns a little at that. Not in a particularly irritated manner, but because the statement was somewhat...he didn't know how to take it. Was it really as simple as the other was claiming? "It isn't quite so simple to me." A quiet huff as he rests his hands on Jonathan's arms. He smiles a little though. "Simple is boring though, I suppose."

Abel said that before too. Warned him not to get attached and yet, he fell hook, line and sinker. "If given a second chance to do it all over again from the beginning, I still wouldn't change a thing." He says as true to his feelings as he could and he completely takes responsibility for it.

He tries to understand it from Abel's point of view, how something as simple as this would be just that and how it might not be perceived that way based on their differing circumstances. "One day, I'll try to explain it better if it still confuses you." He offers before he leans forward a little, as if asking for another kiss.

They still had time to themselves before someone was bound to interrupt.

When love became an act of defiance

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