prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

"Anything I want," Abel repeats for a moment. He seemed to be at an honest loss at that. "I don't know what I want." He didn't have any real aspirations. Any dreams. He perhaps had some when he was younger, but it was easier to not have any. He wouldn't be constantly disappointed that way. His life had been built for someone else all this time that he earnestly didn't know what to do with the idea of making his own decisions. To spend his time for his own enjoyment.

Truly a man who had everything, yet nothing at all.

"I don't know what average people do." He lived a completely different world than Jonathan did. Completely disconnected from the average folk.

There's a soft smile on Jonathan's face before he pushes himself off the frame of the study's entrance, "It's alright. If something comes to mind, you can just tell me and I'll try my best to deliver." He can understand how suddenly the freedom to choose for the first time could be overwhelming. "And if being around too many people becomes bothersome, we can leave whenever you want as well."

All this time, he's seen the other interact around parties and meetings and generally small gatherings versus the amount in the general public space. In a city like this one, he can't imagine the number of thoughts he'd hear but he wanted to give him an option to leave should it be too much and any given point.

"I can't really say what the average person does since it differs so much but you'll get some sort of idea while we're out." Someone else's routine could be completely different from the next person and Jonathan was rather terrible at making such comparisons. "I'll let you finish your cup and we'll get you dressed and ready." He says as he leaves the other to have some time to himself for a bit.

Abel frowns a little at that. Not because he thinks he's being belittled, but because he was trying to wrap his mind around the scope of just how many people he would be exposed to. He had mostly been in contained spaces. He had some public events he attended, but they were very scarce.

He just only makes a sound to confirm he acknowledge what the other was saying, but seemed to be mulling over Jonathan's words.

When he's ready, he knocks on the adjoining door of their rooms before opening it. Abel wasn't wearing the usual finely tailored and pressed suit he usually wore. He wore slacks over his oxfords. He wore a dress shirt with a sweater vest with an argyle pattern over it. Draped over his arm was a beige trench coat and cashmere scarf. While, not exactly cheap, it was still a far cry from his usual. "I believe I'm ready."

Jonathan had sat at the table in the time Abel was getting ready, wondering if the other could manage on their own, whilst idly tapping at the schedule that always sat on top. The blank spot that covered the days Abel gave him off and what was expected to be done when they were supposed to get back. He's quick to forget it when the knock on the door comes.

He leans back in the chair as Abel walks through and Jonathan can't help the slow look over. There's a slow forming grin, "You look good." He says before he's fumbling over his words as if making up for something he said wrong, "N-Not that you didn't always... look good. This is just... a much softer silhouette compared to your usual. It's nice."

Jonathan rubs at the back of his neck and gives a soft cough before he pushes off the seat, keys in hand, "If you have everything that you need, let's get this show on the road then."

Walking through the estate was a tad nerve-wracking, past the family guards and staff as if nothing was suspicious. Opening the door for Abel came next when they managed to reach the driveway, thankfully without anyone stopping them to ask where they were going.

While the drive from the estate to the city wasn't a long one, it was enough that if Abel wanted to, he could doze off for a little.

Abel actually flushes a little when the other looks him over and compliments his appearance. He can only run bandaged fingers through his hair sheepishly. "T-Thanks." He usually doesn't get flustered over something like this, but maybe because he wasn't aiming to dress to impress. Or maybe because the other was so genuine and he can hear it in his thoughts as much as he can hear it in Jonathan's words.

He's embarrassed.

So he just follows the other quietly out and to the car. He had never been in just, well, a normal car. It had always been the most expensive cars with luxurious insides. This was very different, but it wasn't bad. He settles into the chair before looking out the window.

Even though he's exhausted, he doesn't sleep. Instead, he spends the entire time looking out the window; fingers gently pressed against the glass as he watches the scenery go by them as Jonathan drives. Completely transfixed.

Jonathan had to stare for a moment. He'd never really seen Abel so genuinely flustered before especially at a compliment. He was so used to him eating up the attention that he didn't think something like this was even possible. It was rather adorable.

His car is definitely not as fancy as the ones they get driven around in, still looking practically brand new given how rarely he actually uses it in comparison.

Jonathan manages a few glances in Abel's direction, watching him stare at the world with an almost child-like fascination. As if he was just now seeing everything for the first time. When the scenery changes to the city-scape, he drives a little slower, taking his time driving through various streets with no clear destination before he does eventually park somewhere.

There's a bit of a crowd, mostly of the tourist sort, but there was sightseeing that could be done here and a few restaurants, museums, cafes and little food places, Abel could try if he wanted.

He steps around to Abel's side to open the door for him, "If you want to leave at any point, just let me know, okay?"

There was never any real interest in the outside world in all the times they had gone into the city. No matter how many times he attended a concert or ballet or opera or whatever influential party he had attended, he never had been interested. Maybe it was because he knew that his attendance was set in stone. There was no wandering the city streets or seeing the sights. It was going from point A to point B then back to point A.

Now though? It was very different to know that there wasn't a limit. For the first time, the cage door was open and he could be in it instead of viewing it from a cage.

Stepping out of the car felt so odd. A tentative step into cobblestone before he finds himself standing. No appointments to make or people to meet. No obligations of any kind.

It didn't feel real.

He pulls hos coat on and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his trench as he looks around him. Almost lost. "Leave? I don't know where to start."

Jonathan watches the other with a soft smile, shutting the door behind Abel and locking the car. Giving him a moment to adjust and prepare himself for the long day of exploring.

"How about we start this way?" He asks as he already starts to step backwards in the opposite direction, towards one of the more occupied streets. Jonathan offered a little guidance, here and there, but he wanted Abel to have full control of his experience. He lead him to a few sights, lingered at a park with a fountain as a break, offered a few food places nearby for Abel to try if he wanted.

As many times as he's been to the city, whether it be working with Abel, by himself or with family, watching someone like Abel take it all in like it was the first time was something he likely would never forget. There was that look of wonder almost or the little smile, he thinks, that peeks in the corner of Abel's mouth.

The day passed a lot quicker than he was expecting though. Maybe because he found this rather fun and he was just happy that Abel was enjoying himself for once. He doesn't mention leaving until the other experiences the night life a bit, despite being a bit exhausted himself. A day of walking around would certainly do that to a person.

They had dinner at one of Jonathan's favorite places, a mom and pop restaurant that he and his family are regulars at. The owners tease him a bit when he brings Abel in and gets rather flustered by it, losing his cool for the rest of the meal. There's a street vendor for flowers once they start walking again, that Jonathan leaves Abel for a moment, only to return by giving Abel a single deep-red carnation.

"Thanks for letting me take you away from the estate, even though I didn't exactly give you a choice to decline it." He says, glancing away and rubbing at the back of his neck, "Did you enjoy today in the city?"

He thought that it would be more overwhelming to be around so many people. While the thoughts around him were abundant, it was more like white noise. Perhaps it's because he had always been stuck in situations that he didn't want to be in. With nothing to focus his attention on, all he could do was concentrate on the medley of thoughts around him. Here though, there were other things to focus on. Things to enjoy.

Maybe that was the difference. He had little to enjoy, but here he could appreciate and enjoy himself completely. There was nothing to distract his wandering mind in most situations before. Here though, he has too many things to distract himself with. New experiences one after the other. Being a nobody in a grand city was...nice.

They spend much of their time just wandering. In particular, Jonathan finds the other dragging him into quaint little bookstores and music shops. It seemed that Abel had hobbies and interests of some sort. Particulars that was hard to know about because all he did was work. Yet, Abel seemed to be particularly fond of romance novels and he seemed rather taken with music; spending a rather long amount of time admiring some beautifully restored violins or lingering at sleek pianos. He didn't buy anything, but at least Abel seemed to not be completely devoid of any interests.

If he was tired, he shows very little signs of being so. Perhaps there was just too many things to enjoy for him to think about how his body aches. It isn't until they're eating dinner that he really feels it catching up.

He doesn't answer his question right away as he examines the flower in his hand. His mother was an avid gardener. He remembers the time he spent with her when he was younger. Before things turned for the worst. The meaning wasn't lost to him. "Quite so. It's far more interesting than behind a tinted glass window." He looks over at Jonathan. "Were there particular reasons you chose a carnation and in this color, Jonathan?"

As the other pulled him along, he made it a point to pay attention to the little things. Jonathan wasn't a musician or by any sense musically inclined but the instruments in the music shop were beautiful. Watching the other spend his time staring at such things made him wonder but he's also glad to find out what might pique the other's interests.

He was elated to hear that Abel enjoyed the day's adventure. He's not sure if they'll ever get the opportunity to do this sort of thing again after these next few days but it was worth it.

Jonathan knew very little about flower language, what he did know, he learned from the little sister of one of the agents working under his parents who owned a flower shop. She was patient with him the few times he was ordered to ever bring flowers for any of his jobs, giving him little crash courses here and there.

So when Abel asks him about the choice of carnation and its color, he flusters a bit more, "I thought... a rose would be too formal." A rose and a carnation had similar meanings along with the color red, however, the rose was the only one of the two that had another meaning attached to the number you gave.

His voice softens a little as he focuses on the flower in Abel's hand, "It means love and affection from what I was told." Jonathan could have easily picked a flower in yellow for friendship or something else entirely but he didn't. At first, it was just a going to be a simple gesture, one he's done before with others but now that he's having to explain himself, he knows its more than that.

He might as well be honest about his choice, had he not, Abel could very well have read his thought process. "Sorry... should I not have?" He asks.

"I used to garden with my mother," Cain comments. It's innocuous, but Cain rarely talks about any details about himself. "She quite fancied flower language."

He looks at the flower in his hand again; brows furrowing a little as he twirls it. "You know that it won't work out, right?" It isn't an outright denial of his emotions or a proper rejection, but an observation. As if he can freely pursue his valet. Cain didn't have the luxury of getting to choose who he wanted to be with. He didn't have that kind of freedom.

"The sentiment is nice though. Thank you. You know you're really much too kind," he replies with a soft smile. "An absolute idiot though. I don't know why you go out of your way, honestly. I can read your thoughts, yet I really don't understand." Jonathan is so simple to understand, yet perplexes him so much.

"Really? I never would'v taken you as someone with a bit of a green thumb." Jonathan replies, he keeps the little fact in mind if he ever gives Cain flowers again in the future. It was nice to learn more about him than just what he kept at the surface.

When the other reminds him that this sort of arrangement would never work out, he smiles a little, "I know." A valet falling for his charge was always going to be a bit of a double edge sword and he knows nothing longstanding may come from it. Even if it was a secret they held in subtle touches or behind closed doors, it was bound to hurt both of them if Cain's father found out. "Still... It doesn't hurt to try, right?"

The acceptance of the flower makes Jonathan smile wider, his gaze lingering on Cain's soft smile. Though, his expression is quick to change to being fake hurt at being called an idiot, chuckling it off. "Treating people I care about to nice things that may make them happy is just what I do. There aren't any hidden strings."

He holds out his arm, "Do you want to go home or did you still want to walk around for a bit?"

"Gardening is probably a strong word for pouring water onto plants until she told me to stop less I drown them," Cain replies back. "My mother enjoyed tending them and I enjoyed spending time with her. I believe I spent more time admiring than actual gardening." He also hadn't done those kind of things in a long while. Decades.

And he can't help but laugh. It's such a naive statement. Another reminder that he would be dirtying the other and causing unnecessary heartache for the other. Jonathan deserved much more than a jaded man who had no freedom or happiness in his future. "I think if you have to ask, you already know the answer." Cain doesn't give the other an answer, but perhaps there's something warning in his tone.

A click of his tongue. "I really don't understand," he reiterates, but ultimately drops the subject.

"I'm tired. I think I've had enough of the city for the day." It's a good ache though. Physically and mentally. An experience he won't be forgetting for the rest of his life.

As Cain talks about his mother with such fondness, Jonathan wonders how different of a person he might've been had he been raised in her care instead of by his father's cruel hand. "I'm sure you were a great helper. Watering is equally an important step alongside everything else in gardening." He can certainly see the other as more of an observer in that memory.

Cain knew that he was the stubborn sort and wouldn't give up on him so easily despite being told too for his benefit. The heartache or the other's concern of dirtying him weren't really thoughts he kept on the table to worry over. He hums as if considering the other's words though he doesn't say much in return.

Jonathan smiles softly, giving a final comment before letting the subject be dropped, "You'll figure it out one day." Cain was one of the smartest people he'd work alongside so he knows he'll understand in time.

"Home it is then." He leads the other back in the direction of where they had parked earlier in the day, a majority of the spots around them still filled with the nightlife crowd. The drive to his parent's home wasn't nearly as far as the drive from the estate to the city but still long enough if one wanted to doze off, which he thinks Cain might fall for.

The home itself was located in one of the more fancier neighborhoods, not nearly the size of the estate but still large enough to house a family of nine comfortably when everyone made a home visit, which was... more often than most for families whose children have left the nest.

He just kind of gives an undignified snort and a roll of his eyes. Sentimentality isn't something that Abel often partakes in. Possibly because he had very few good memories to look back to or perhaps it's seen as a point of weakness that he couldn't show.

The car ride is quiet, but partially because Abel dozes off in the car. The smaller man is curled up in the seat; fingers still curled around the flower that the other had given him. Despite his words, he seems to cling to the flower in his sleep, betraying his real feelings about the matter.

In the low light, Jonathan had only managed a few glances in Abel's direction during the drive, long enough to catch he had dozed off and that he was still holding onto the flower whenever they passed under a streetlight but he hadn't really thought much of it until they reached the house and he had parked in the driveway.

He wasn't quick to leave his seat as he took off his seatbelt, leaning over to do the same for Abel without waking him up in the process. The gentle lift of the other's arm through the seatbelt, the gentle maneuver of inching Abel away from the door to slowly easing off the seatbelt so it didn't clink against the door.

It takes a minute to get out of the car and make his way over to the other side, easily picking up Abel to carry him inside. The other was light enough for it not to be an issue, Jonathan did have to motion to his parents when they come to greet him at the door to be quiet so as not to wake the other before carrying him to his room.

Jonathan slowly places Abel onto the bed as he sat on the edge, gently taking the flower he had been clinging to, making a note to get a small vase for it later, and running his fingers against the other's hair to brush the strands away from his face.

Abel didn't really known the feeling of being safe with another. Not since loving embraces with his mother years ago. That was ages ago and all he had left were letters his mother would write to him that were delivered by staff. Love letters between a broken relationship torn apart by his father.

Jonathan felt safe though and so Abel doesn't stir much when they lift him up. Instead, he merely tucks his head against the other; seeking warmth while blissfully lost in his slumber.

It isn't until he is settled into bed and fingers gently brush against his face that he shifts. Eyes fluttering open, though unfocused. He doesn't sit up, but his eyes dart around to take in his surroundings. His voice a little hoarse when he speaks. "Did I fall asleep?" A dumb question, but he earnestly might still be half asleep still.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He smiles softly at the other, "Yeah, you were pretty much out like a light during the drive. We're at my folk's place now so you can rest easy." Jonathan tilts his head, running his fingers through Abel's hair before he slowly took his hand back. He was prepared to let the other go back to sleep on the bed while he probably took a spot on the floor, they had a long day after all.

Jonathan shifts to get up, mostly to find an extra blanket and to make Abel more comfortable, "Go back to sleep." They didn't have any sort of schedule to keep while they were here so he wasn't about to wake the other up early tomorrow, though whether or not Abel actually slept in for once was up to him.

While his family was excited to finally meet Abel for the first time, they also didn't want to overwhelm and potentially crowd his space while he visited.

Abel lets his eyes flutter close for a moment when Jonathan runs his fingers through his hair. Sleep. That sounded good.

But then the other moves to get up and he knows he should let the other do so. Yet, Abel reaches out to grab Jonathan's wrist. Abel knew that them getting attached to each other was a bad idea. He knows better, but- "Stay."

Well, it's not as though Abel was very good at doing what was better for him.

Jonathan wasn't expecting the other to grab his wrist to stop him from leaving, he turns towards the other, "Okay." He wouldn't deny such a rare request. He scoots Abel a little further towards the other side of the bed to give him enough space to lay on his side next to him.

He figured once Abel had gone back to sleep, he would find that extra blanket but for now he just cups the other's cheek and places a soft kiss on his forehead before he wraps an arm around the other's waist to keep him close. It wasn't until he laid down himself that he realized how tired he was, finding it rather easy to slowly drift off, though still attentive.

He wants to tell the other he's an idiot. The kiss was completely unnecessary. Even if it makes his heart flutter.

Abel just clicks his tongue a bit but shifts to settle back down. He's quick to fall back asleep. He usually doesn't sleep well, yet the other makes it so easy to fall asleep.

Jonathan's family had gone to check up on the pair when Jonathan hadn't come back to say hello after taking Abel to his room. Sayre had simply smiled before pulling an extra blanket out of the spare closet in the hallway and draping it over the two, closing the door to let them rest until morning.

The same tender attention could not be said for when his sisters quietly half dogpile him out of his sleep with soft giggles, careful not to jostle their brother too much with Abel so close. To which he quietly grumbles before swatting at them to leave, they tell him to hurry and get up cause they wanted to meet Abel before they leave the room again, after leaving an outfit behind for the other.

Getting up was an effort all its own, he was too comfortable to want to get out of bed before he looks down at Abel, smiling gently before carefully sliding out of the other's grasp after a few long minutes and pulling the blanket moreover him while he went to get ready for the day. He's slow to wake up Abel when he returns, running through their usual routine of getting ready.

When they go downstairs, the family greets Abel like he's always been a part of the family. His parents were collecting ingredients and cooking tools from various places and placing them on the kitchen island. Jonathan's sisters easily bound up to their guest, each taking one of Abel's arms and asking where Jonathan had been hiding him for the other not to have visited sooner. His brothers, on the other hand, were seated on the barstools on the other side of the counter space, out of the way for now as they both raised a hand in greeting.

Jonathan looks a little worried at the sudden onslaught of attention his sisters are giving Abel before they drag him off to the living room. He rubs at the back of his neck with a sigh before turning to greet his parents and apologize for not coming back down to say hello when they arrived.

This had been the most well rested he had felt in awhile. He doesn't remember a time where he was so comfortable and at peace. Even the thoughts don't really seem to bother him so much. He wonders if this is what a normal home feels like. It seemed nice.

And he had no idea what to expect

He had charmed socialites aplenty. Knew how to play them like an instrument. Abel knew how to play a person because he had no personal stakes or interests in impressing people on a surface level. With Jonathan's family, it was completely different. There were no backhanded thoughts or snobby assumptions being made of him. It was just a genuine curiosity and-

Well, he was flustered. Shy even. He had never been so out of his element before. And it's probably knew for Jonathan too. To see Abel lose his composure in such an innocent way. A stutter of a greeting and answer before he glances at Jonathan as his sisters hook their arms around his and drag him off to the living room.

This trip was certainly one of firsts. Jonathan never expected to see Abel out of his element like this, it was almost adorable but it spoke volumes of what a simple change in an environment and the people in it could do. All he could really do is softly smile at him before being dragged off.

His sisters excitedly complimented Abel and his good looks as soon as they plopped on the couch, what started off as inspiration ramble quickly turned into asking Abel to model for them some time because he would be absolutely perfect for it to wanting to know more about him. His likes and dislikes, what he did for a living, and if their little brother had done anything to embarrass himself yet.

Of course, the last question catches the attention of his brothers who sneak away from the kitchen to lean off the couch edge because any dirt on their youngest sibling was too good to potentially pass up.

Jonathan is slow to realize what his siblings were up to as he took it upon himself to help his parents find the last few ingredients before noticing all four of them had somewhat surrounded Abel. A sight that never worked in his favor. He seems completely defeated on the thought of what they must have asked before his parents summon everyone to the kitchen to help out with the meal and dessert which usually ends with someone getting dusted in flour.

Its a moment of laughter, jokes, and reminiscing of stories the family wanted to tell Abel because what were guests for if not to embarrass someone. The meal itself equally carried the same energy.

In any other instance, he would possibly preen himself and rise to the conversation. It's the genuine interest and curiosity to learn more about him that catches him by surprise. he was so very used to being asked such questions by people who were just being polite and formal. People who didn't care about what you answered with and he had never answered back honestly because there was no need to. Here though, they wanted to genuinely know things about him.

And there was an issue with that, he was finding. He disliked plenty of things, but it wasn't like he thought about it and those things generally stemmed from his dislike of his father and work. He can't say he had any particular likes either. Abel didn't have any personal hobbies because he didn't have time for them. He absentmindedly wrung his hands as he tried to answer any of the questions; hands still bandaged and fragile (though he had forgotten all about it).

Answering questions about what he did for a living was easier to talk about. Politics and what came with it.

As for stories. Abel had plenty of those. Things like Jonathan accidentally spilling a drink on what was a particularly expensive dress or the one time Jonathan knocked someone into the fountain. While, others probably were far less pleased, Abel had found it quite hilarious. Not that he laughed out loud. That would be dreadful of him!

The meal is wonderful. It was nice. Abel couldn't help but dislike it in someway. Is wasn't anything that they did, but it was being in such a loving environment and seeing a family that wasn't fallen apart like his own. Perhaps he was envious. He wasn't sure. It was a bittersweet feeling.

He merely excuses himself to take a step out to take a smoke. They were a beautiful family and for all them easily including him, he wasn't sure if he belonged there. Abel lights a cigarette and takes a long drag before glancing back at the household as he exhales.

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It's been so long I've been using Cain instead of Abel LMAO

whoops on both of us lol

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