prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

"I don't have anyone like that. The only people I see are socialites at parties, politicians, and other business personnel," Abel says with a bit of a frown. Jonathan had surely seen his day to day long enough to figure that Abel didn't really have anyone he really had reason to get attached to.

Maybe that was incredibly depressing, but Abel didn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction about it. Couldn't really miss what he never had. Even as a child, he had been fairly estranged and kept to himself on the estate. He had made friends when he had gone to school for a short while, but he hadn't seen any of them since he had been removed from his private school to be home tutored.

Abel mulls over Jonathan's words for a moment before finally shrugging. "I suppose I don't see why not. You seem intent on not taking no for an answer, besides." What's the worst that will happen?

He also would be lying if there wasn't a certain amount of excitement of leaving the estate to enjoy himself. To perhaps live a normal day for once.

Abel truly was alone.

The hyena makes a noise, almost akin to a hum as he drops that part of the conversation. He ponders on it a for a bit longer, what that must feel like, how Abel could continue to be in such a situation after all this time.

That particular thought train is quickly tossed as Abel speaks again.

Jonathan's mood perks up instantly when Abel finally agrees to his request. His tail thuds against the floor before soft swiping can he heard as it wagged against the floor. Now he needed to heed to his promise.

You won't regret it.

He's a bit more affectionate than he should be as he lifts his head up further to nuzzle against the other, careful not to be too forceful so as not to put the other off balance.

He wanted Abel to experience life, even for a moment, without his father's influence. Even if its only for a day or two.

I do have to apologize in advance though... my folks can be a bit... much. But it'll be fun.

Abel had been mentioned to them since the beginning, especially to his mother, Sayre. Guess this meant he needed to check in with them again later, perhaps after dinner. They could easily stay at his own apartment instead but more positive interactions were something that he felt Abel should experience for a little while.

Ah, Jonathan's mood picking up makes the taste in his mouth far less bitter. If anything, at least appeasing the other makes him feel a little better, as little as that is. It'll be awhile for his own mood to pick up.

"I don't regret many things," Abel simply replies with. It's not exactly a lie. He can't say that there are things that he really regrets. Even making his father upset wasn't much of a regret. Were days like these god awful? Absolutely. He can't say he can regret it if he still continues to antagonize the man though. Everything else in his life isn't so much of a regret as just a monotonous everyday.

Bitterness though, was a feeling that he was well acquainted with.

"Well, if they aren't tossing their children into small closets, than I think I'll take whatever extra they happen to be." Ah. He hadn't really meant to say that. Slighting his father was one thing, but bringing up the particulars wasn't really something he liked to talk about.

That's good... I suppose.

To have little to no regrets was certainly some type of gift. Even through the thick of potential punishment, he guessed one needed to if life was like this. Add flavor to it and all that.

Small...closets?

Its not the most common thing to add so casually into a conversation unless it meant more than the other was letting on. Was that what happened? Was that the reason he found the other in such a state? If so then that made, Abel's father even more of a cruel bastard.

Jonathan shakes his head, taking a step back from the other only to hop up on Abel's bed and pull Abel closer to himself, curling up loosely around him. Abel will find himself deep in soft fur but with enough room to pull away if he wanted the space.

Never mind, you don't have to tell me.

Abel didn't need to tell him more about it if it was a sour subject, imagining it most likely was. He does answer back to the comment with a huff of breath.

They don't, by the way, though they can be a bit overwhelming. Too loving, really.

He knows are much his parent dote on him and his siblings, but it also translates to everyone that knows them; no matter how high they are on the food chain. And Abel was about to experience all of them all at once instead of in pairs like most would.

"Bugger." He most definitely doesn't want to talk about it. Not because he was ashamed about it, but that he simply had no intentions of burdening the other with what happens between his father and himself.

He also just didn't want to talk about it. Abel wasn't really someone who aired his grievances and bottled them up. Kept it to himself. He hadn't had someone to confide in before, besides.

Instead of talking about it, he just buries himself in Jonathan's fur. It was warm and soft. Comforting. He buries his face against the other and doesn't reply. The idea of being too loving seems so odd. Is it really possible to be too loving? Wasn't loving supposed to be a positive thing? How can someone be too loving? It didn't sound like it was possible. He can't fathom it.

"Too loving sounds odd," Abel says finally. "I can't say I understand the sentiment." Of course he doesn't.

Jonathan watches Abel for a few moments before his expression softens and he lowers his head against the bed. This was the first time he's ever had anyone other than family curl up against him like this and it was rather... nice.

Trust me when I say, you'll catch up on your missing decades tomorrow. Also, I didn't mean it to come off as if it was a nuisance... being too loving.

He pauses for a moment, staring at the comforter. All he's ever known was love and support while he knows the other likely hasn't and still doesn't. Thinking that Abel might get a bit overwhelmed by his siblings curiosity or his parents doting.

My folks get very easily attached so don't be surprised if you are informally adopted by them after the first day. Its a strange habit of theirs.

His bodyguard director parents had thought of their entire division as family. Stronger bonds means for a certain level of trust and thus a more uniform work style. It was enough to earn massive praise so clearly they were doing something right with it. The same could apply to his more artistic parents but swap bodyguards for models or a small close-knit team.

Jonathan imagines they'll take a shining to Abel, especially after everything he's told them about the man pressed against him thus far minus his abilities, of course.

"Kind of odd when they probably won't see me again anytime soon," Abel replies with. The sentiment was...nice? He thinks. A little odd, but he guesses people who can so easily appreciate another person's company is nice to hear. A far cry from upholding some stuffy image that most socialites held.

Abel doesn't really think much about it. He was really just going because the other really wanted him to and the idea of leaving his place just sounded alluring. Meeting Jonathan's family was just apparently how he was going to spend his time and it certainly sounded better than his usual.

He's too exhausted to really argue anyways. The adrenaline has long since left his body and he just felt fatigued now. Jonathan may realize it with how Abel's breathing seems to slow and even out and the way his grip in Jonathan's fur seems to loosen as the man seemingly dozes off.

It has been a rather tiring ordeal for the other, after all.

They'll still consider you family no matter the time passage.

While he thought about staying at his folks place for a day or two, being cooped up in one house only to leave and be cooped up in another wasn't totally his plan. He wanted for Abel to experience what wasn't high-end social events and more the average joe's sort of day but they'll figure it out later.

When Jonathan notices the changes in Abel, he lifts his head to see that the other had dozed off and curls up around him a little tighter as he takes the time to doze off himself. There wasn't much he could do now that the other was asleep and he didn't dare move either. After what Abel experienced, he deserved as much rest as he could get.

He only stirs when the eventual knock on the adjoining door happens, indicating dinner time had finally arrived. Jonathan lifts his head to yawn, a small noise escaping him as he glances over at Abel. He's not quite sure how he's going to move the other without jostling him too much.

Its a slow process as he maneuvers out from underneath Abel as he picks the other up and sets him back down in the warm spot that he leaves as he steps off the bed, pulling a blanket over him. When Jonathan reaches the adjoining door, he waits a few moments before opening it and stepping inside of his room.

There some time before he walks back into Abel's room, having shifted back and changed into some lounge clothes of his own. He had contacted his parents while he ate his portion of dinner to explain his plans and they sounded rather excited about it. Of course, they would be. Jonathan sets down the tray of food on the table as usual before walking back towards the bed and sits on the edge.

He almost didn't want to wake the other up because he always seemed to look to peaceful sleeping but the other also needed to eat. After his injuries and possibly not eaten much beforehand, he needed to get the other to wake up for just a little while then he can go back to bed if he wanted.

Jonathan reaches out, his hand hesitating to stroke the other's cheek awake so he opts for shaking Abel's shoulder instead. "Abel...?"

Abel is usually a very light sleeper. Getting up wasn't really a strong suit of his and he struggled to get out of bed proper, but he wasn't a heavy sleeper. He was just a bad morning person. The man was utterly exhausted though and doesn't seem to wake up when the other manages to maneuver off the bed and leaving the slumbering man to curl up under the blankets.

He lets out a low whine when the other tries to wake him up. Not particularly enthused at the idea of being awoken in the slightest, it seems. Abel is acutely aware about how much his entire body felt so heavy. His hands and arms ached and his throat felt ragged. The man tries to curl up tighter into himself, not wanting to get up.

His appetite has always been a rather fickle thing and he couldn't tell if he was hungry at all with how exhausted his body felt. "Sleep..." As though that is a very helpful reply to the other. He wanted to sleep more...

Jonathan was the complete opposite in that regard. A heavy sleeper but out of habit, will wake up at the sound of a simple door click, especially if he was working. Had there not been a knock for dinner, he most likely would've kept napping until he woke up on his own or if his phone went off.

Working with Abel, he knows just how terrible he was at waking up and right now, he didn't blame him for wanted to sleep more.

"I know, I know." Jonathan reaches out to lightly run fingers through Abel's hair, "But you need to eat something... you can go back to sleep afterwards, promise." Obviously, he'll try to get the other to eat, at least, one more time before he drops it completely to simply let him rest. There was no use arguing over the matter past that.

Dinner happened to be a soup tonight, something light but warm to help besides the usual pot of tea. There was dessert like always but he didn't think Abel would stay awake long enough to eat it.

"You wouldn't have to get out of bed..." He tries to coax the other into trying to eat something. Fully prepared to feed it to him if it would be easier for Abel considering the injuries to his hands.

Abel leans into the touch just a tad. It's gentle. Comforting. It's not a feeling he really experiences very often. It's not something he experiences from another, really. He liked it.

He does finally push himself into a sitting position though. "Fine, fine. I'm up," he replies tiredly. He guesses the other was right and he was already sluggish as is. He'd probably struggle even more to get up the next morning. Low blood sugar in the morning and possibly being a bit cross, since he certainly hated getting up.

That, and he isn't sure if he'll sleep so well tonight. He's surprised he slept well at all in the first place. His dreams were far from friendly.

The other might have to just feed the other. The way his hands shake a bit and the obvious pain of trying to hold the spoon in his fingers. He certainly is a bit stubborn, but it definitely was a struggle to eat at the moment.

Abel really seemed like someone who hid his weaknesses because showing weakness would have him eaten alive in such an unforgiving setting.

There's a soft smile as Abel leans into the touch, it reminded him of that morning on his second day where he did the same. Though he shuts the thought almost immediately since he's kept that a secret all this time. It would be rather foolish to let a stray thought reveal it now. Not that it really mattered. He's already seen Abel at his most vulnerable.

Jonathan helps the other sit up, just in case, before he moves to stand and cross the room to grab the dinner tray. Setting it on the bedside table and taking a seat in his former spot on the bed's edge close to the other before passing the spoon towards Abel to see if he could manage or not while he held onto the bowl.

When he sees him struggle though, he motions for the spoon and feeds him instead. Much like a parent would for their sick or injured child. The bowl hovered below every time he lifted a spoonful since no one wanted to have warm soup spill on themselves.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight? or would you prefer to be alone?" He asks as he lifts up a another spoonful. It didn't matter which Abel chose, he just wanted the other to be as comfortable as possible. And he can't imagine a day like today would allow for a peaceful sleep.

He doesn't relinquish the spoon at first until the other takes it from him. A stubborn man through and through and he hated to be this weak. He couldn't even clench his hands into fists without quite a bit of work.

"You don't have to stay," Abel says automatically. He wasn't going to subject the other to babysitting him. He wasn't about to start having to rely on someone when he had gotten this far without needing to rely on someone else for any kind of support.

It's not like the other had to lose sleep because he was going to lose sleep. One of them can have a peaceful night of sleep.

Weakness was no one's favorite game. Especially when one struggles to rely on others. Jonathan tries to imagine Abel going through all of this on his own and what that might've looked like. Did other valets help him through this too? or was he the first? or did they ignore him?

"Is that what you want or is that you're pride talking?" He asks, they seemed to have very different views and while he'll always respect the other's choice. He can't help but feel the other will always keep him at arm's length because that was something he was always used to doing.

Sleep didn't matter to him with how easily he can sleep anywhere and with habit burned into him, he can easily stay up if need be. He's quiet until Abel finishes the bowl and turns to place it on the tray, offering up the cup of tea and the dessert to see if Abel wanted either choice.

"You know my door is always open to you should you need it." He says softly, he did plan to leave the adjoining door cracked open if Abel told him not to stay.

Abel didn't have much of an appetite, but the man takes both. The tea was more for his nerve and it was somewhat soothing for his throat. The dessert was simply because he just wanted it. It did make him feel a tad better, as sweets tended to do. Even if he's slow to eat it.

"It's what I want," Abel replies firmly. Of course, this was probably his pride talking. Ever so stubborn and he doesn't think he really has to force someone to watch him while he slept. He could surely weather through this.

He looks down at the contents of his tea cup. "I'll be fine." Will he really though? It's not a very good lie, but maybe he's saying it for himself more than to convince the other.

Jonathan hums softly with a slight nod, accepting Abel's choice. He's proud of the other for eating as much as he did when he usually didn't bother to touch most of his food besides the tea and dessert.

He does give the other a soft look when he says he's fine, he finds it hard to believe, of course, but he doesn't press further. He raises his hand, gently setting it on the other's head before he leans forward to place a kiss against his temple.

The action was likely going to be read differently by the other and while he hasn't come to terms with his own feelings, he intended for it to be in a platonic sense. Comfort and affection went a long way in circumstances like this.

"I'll leave the teapot with you, in case you want more. Try to get some rest, though if you need or want it at any point tonight, you can always sleep with me. I won't mind." He gives the other a soft smile as he gets to his feet, piling the dishes onto the tray before leaving the teapot behind and taking the rest in hand, "Goodnight, Abel." Heading towards his room, he glancing back at the other before leaving the door open a bit behind him.

Jonathan finds it difficult to fall asleep afterwards, knowing what he knows now made his thoughts swim as he stared at the ceiling before he eventually drifted to sleep.

Ah. He isn't sure how to feel about the hand on his head and the kiss that follows it. He had never really let anyone get passed his walls. Had never had anyone really attempt to. It's all rather confusing for him and he frowns a little in thought.

He bids the other a good evening as he looks at his tea as though it might tell him the answer to his conflicted thoughts and feelings. Eventually, he finishes the cup and places it back on its saucer. Abel only eats a bit of the dessert before he's really too tired to stay awake and curls back into his sheets to sleep.

Abel hadn't even realized the other hadn't shut the door completely, and it's smart of the other.

It isn't too long before the other might hear the constantly rustling of sheets followed by sobbing and then hoarse screaming. Because it was silly for anyone to think that he would have any semblance of decent sleep after the day he had gone through.

Jonathan didn't catch the rustling of sheets at first, slowly sitting up in a sleepy confusion when he picks up sobbing while he rubs at his eyes which quickly grew to practically jumping at the sound of hoarse screaming. He should have known better than to leave Abel alone tonight even with his firm decision that he'd be fine alone. Thank god, he left the door open. Otherwise, he would have never caught it.

He peels off the covers and walks over the adjoined door and quickly passing through to sit at the edge of Abel's bed like before. Hands instantly going to the other's shoulders to still his movements for a moment.

"Abel..! Hey!" There's a shake of his own to get the other to wake up, an attempt to pull him out of whatever nightmare he was having. He wasn't going to leave the other alone for the rest of the night after this, even if he tells him to leave.

The man was tossing and turning before the other is by his side. Between the sobs and screaming are words. Frantic begging and pleading for his unknown assailant to let him out. Apologizing profusely for his actions.

He wakes with a start, and for a moment there's no recognition in his eyes. As though his mind was still trapped in whatever scenario it had made. Just this pleading expression as he grips the others arm under his shaking fingers. "F-Father, please. Not again."

Jonathan's hands are gentle on Abel's face, worry etched on his features as he speaks reassuringly, "He's not here. I'm not going to hurt you."

To hear the other beg, plead and apologize makes him wonder just how long this sort of thing had been going for. How long did Abel's father leave him in the small closet for? How long till it was enough? How could he live with himself by doing this to his own son?

His touch is gentle as he leans forward till he was nearly hovering over the other. "He's not here. He's not here. It'll be okay."

It's a few minutes more before the other seems to finally recognize Jonathan for who he is. He swallows audibly and seems to be consciously trying to even his breathing out before finally saying something.

"Jonathan." The room is still dark, but he can hear Jonathan's thoughts and his silhouette was much different from his fathers. He slowly realizes they're merely in his room and he glances around before his grip on Jonathan's arms loosen up.

"I..." He's at a loss as to what to say.

Along with his questions, his thoughts varied between, He's not here., You're safe, I won't let him hurt you.. Just soft reassurances that the other wasn't going to be harmed. Waiting patiently for Abel to come out of it and calm down on his own.

"Shhh... you were having a nightmare. I heard you scream." Jonathan softly replies with as he gently brushes his thumbs against Abel's cheeks before eventually sitting up.

Before the other could object to it, he was already up and walking around to the other side of the bed and taking a spot next the other under the covers. "You're stuck with me tonight." He reaches out to put his hand on the other's head like before.

In reality, Abel was gonna be stuck with him for the next couple nights anyway but he didn't want to leave the other alone, in case of another nightmare.

Edited 2019-07-13 02:06 (UTC)

"You left the door ajar," Abel says softly. It wasn't so much of an accusation (although it was in some sense), but more of a statement. An understanding that the other intended to make sure to come to his side if something were to happen. He had been so exhausted that he hadn't noticed anything.

He sighs softly and ends up falling backwards to lay back down with a soft thud. The other obviously was conflicted in his thoughts. He hated looking so embarrassingly weak in front of the other. There was something touching about the other so concerned for him. It's a strange thing to him that he still doesn't quite understand. Why the other cared so much.

He doesn't look at the other. "You're bloody stubborn, you know. I didn't think you'd be this concerned." No one else had been.

"I did. Mostly because of this very reason and I doubted if you would ever take me up on coming to me in the middle of the night. So if I came to you, it would just be easier.." He gives a little shrug.

To not comfort after a nightmare or to do nothing at all was appalling to him. To know this was happening and not want to help was heartless and that wasn't him.

Jonathan chuckles softly before plopping back down himself, turning on his side, "You're one to talk." He pauses before he replies quieter, "I care too much, remember? And maybe i'm too dense to understand why but if I'm around and its within my power to help, then i'm going to."

Then he can say that he tried instead of standing back and doing nothing. In the dark, he stares at Abel's silhouette as if he was waiting for the other to go back to sleep so that he could try the same, fully prepared for an all-nighter if he needed to stay awake.

"Stubbornness is the only thing I have to get me through the days." Resilience wasn't because he wanted to be resilient. It was because he really had no choice but to be resilient. "You know, you say things like that and you make it hard not to call you a dumb dog," Abel says with a click of his tongue. As though he wanted to really insult the other, but his heart wasn't at all on it.

Abel just curls up under the sheets, keeping his back to the other. His breathing has calmed down, but it's obvious that the man was struggling to bring himself to sleep again. Maybe he couldn't or maybe he was afraid to. The risk of being dragged into a night of screaming with the other right there now.

His body was still tense even with everything having passed. That no matter how casual he spoke, his body language gave him away.

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