prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

He didn't mind the other's eyes on him, if anything, he was used to it at this point.

Watching Abel struggle with his cigarette looked rather painful and he wishes there was more that he could do to help in that regard but that sort of thing was out of his control. Rest and time to heal is all he could allow the other, "You're welcome."

Jonathan leans around Abel for the ashtray he kept on his bedside table, grabbing it to set on the bed closer to him, "Well again, there's no rush. We can leave after breakfast and once we get you dressed, sound good?"

There was still a bit more time before breakfast would arrive, making it best to knock out a few things beforehand, "Would you like me to pack a bag for you or would you like to be subjected to more t-shirts and free clothes from my sisters?" He asks with a bit of a head tilt. If it was the former, he had a spare bag in his room that he could put everything into and make an excuse if they're stopped that it was a few things he forgot to take back home.

Not that he expects anyone to really stop them, only snitch on them once they leave the premises to his father and the eventual tally of how long they'd be gone for to be used against them.

"What time is it?" Abel rarely kept track of the time in all honesty. He had merely relied on his valet keeping track of it and ushering him along to wherever he needed to be on time. It was also a concept that was lost to him with how long his hours tended to be and how little sleep he sometimes got.

He looks at his cigarette for a moment before he replies. "There's no need to pack a bag." It wasn't because he was sure that they would give him clothes, but that he didn't think that this trip would be very long where he would really need to pack too much, if at all. He knew exactly what he was doing by agreeing to this.

And he also knew that Jonathan probably had no idea in return.

He wanted it though. Even just a taste of it.

"Nearly nine-thirty." Jonathan had tilted the underside of his wrist to glance at the clock face for the time. Time was something he was rather passionate about, well, more towards clocks themselves but it was all the same.

He nods at Abel's decision to not pack a bag, it was one less thing to worry about and less suspicion on them at first glance. He knows there were plenty of spare items back home that the other wouldn't feel like he would be missing anything he might need.

There was a knock on the door between their rooms sometime later and he remembers having shut it when he left the room earlier. Its a brief moment as Jonathan leaves Abel to retrieve the food tray and brings it back in a similar set up as dinner the night before was.

He knows Abel will likely try to eat on his own again, or attempt to, all he can really do is watch the other struggle before offering to help when he felt that the pain might be too much. Jonathan wasn't going to rush anything. When breakfast was nearly finished, he leaves the other again to pick out one of Abel's usual outfits, hoping he didn't mind the combo he had chosen for him.

Eventually, he collects the tray, leaving only the teapot and Abel's cup behind and setting the rest on one of the nearby tables.

Jonathan isn't wrong at all. Abel attempts to eat without any help, but it's impossible for him to actually properly cut anything. He shakily tries to use his knife, but he can't apply the pressure necessary without his hands shaking. Eventually he puts the utensils back down; giving up on doing it on his own. He'll let the other cut his food so he can eat it given that he'd just make a mess at this point.

Abel takes the cup of tea and ends up looking out to the garden from the large glass doors in his study. The doors leading out to the balcony have been sealed sometime ago, so he only ever looks out it now.

He finally turns back to the other. "What exactly are we doing while out?" He barely can remember a time where his life wasn't on a schedule that it doesn't occur to him that things didn't always have to be on some set schedule.

Jonathan leans against the entryway to the study, watching the other until he turned around. He always thought it was odd that Abel never used the balcony but he never questioned it either.

"Anything you want. My folks want to meet you but we don't have to go over immediately unless you want to. We can visit anything in the city or you can try new foods, doesn't have to be fancy." He replies, tilting his head as he was trying to think of places to go and to visit that might interest Abel. "You have free rein while we're off the grounds."

There were so many places and activites that he's not sure Abel has ever experienced like aquariums or visiting a skating rink or just mundane things like listening to a street musicians or watching street art be made. He wanted Abel to have control for once to experience what he wanted.

"Anything I want," Abel repeats for a moment. He seemed to be at an honest loss at that. "I don't know what I want." He didn't have any real aspirations. Any dreams. He perhaps had some when he was younger, but it was easier to not have any. He wouldn't be constantly disappointed that way. His life had been built for someone else all this time that he earnestly didn't know what to do with the idea of making his own decisions. To spend his time for his own enjoyment.

Truly a man who had everything, yet nothing at all.

"I don't know what average people do." He lived a completely different world than Jonathan did. Completely disconnected from the average folk.

There's a soft smile on Jonathan's face before he pushes himself off the frame of the study's entrance, "It's alright. If something comes to mind, you can just tell me and I'll try my best to deliver." He can understand how suddenly the freedom to choose for the first time could be overwhelming. "And if being around too many people becomes bothersome, we can leave whenever you want as well."

All this time, he's seen the other interact around parties and meetings and generally small gatherings versus the amount in the general public space. In a city like this one, he can't imagine the number of thoughts he'd hear but he wanted to give him an option to leave should it be too much and any given point.

"I can't really say what the average person does since it differs so much but you'll get some sort of idea while we're out." Someone else's routine could be completely different from the next person and Jonathan was rather terrible at making such comparisons. "I'll let you finish your cup and we'll get you dressed and ready." He says as he leaves the other to have some time to himself for a bit.

Abel frowns a little at that. Not because he thinks he's being belittled, but because he was trying to wrap his mind around the scope of just how many people he would be exposed to. He had mostly been in contained spaces. He had some public events he attended, but they were very scarce.

He just only makes a sound to confirm he acknowledge what the other was saying, but seemed to be mulling over Jonathan's words.

When he's ready, he knocks on the adjoining door of their rooms before opening it. Abel wasn't wearing the usual finely tailored and pressed suit he usually wore. He wore slacks over his oxfords. He wore a dress shirt with a sweater vest with an argyle pattern over it. Draped over his arm was a beige trench coat and cashmere scarf. While, not exactly cheap, it was still a far cry from his usual. "I believe I'm ready."

Jonathan had sat at the table in the time Abel was getting ready, wondering if the other could manage on their own, whilst idly tapping at the schedule that always sat on top. The blank spot that covered the days Abel gave him off and what was expected to be done when they were supposed to get back. He's quick to forget it when the knock on the door comes.

He leans back in the chair as Abel walks through and Jonathan can't help the slow look over. There's a slow forming grin, "You look good." He says before he's fumbling over his words as if making up for something he said wrong, "N-Not that you didn't always... look good. This is just... a much softer silhouette compared to your usual. It's nice."

Jonathan rubs at the back of his neck and gives a soft cough before he pushes off the seat, keys in hand, "If you have everything that you need, let's get this show on the road then."

Walking through the estate was a tad nerve-wracking, past the family guards and staff as if nothing was suspicious. Opening the door for Abel came next when they managed to reach the driveway, thankfully without anyone stopping them to ask where they were going.

While the drive from the estate to the city wasn't a long one, it was enough that if Abel wanted to, he could doze off for a little.

Abel actually flushes a little when the other looks him over and compliments his appearance. He can only run bandaged fingers through his hair sheepishly. "T-Thanks." He usually doesn't get flustered over something like this, but maybe because he wasn't aiming to dress to impress. Or maybe because the other was so genuine and he can hear it in his thoughts as much as he can hear it in Jonathan's words.

He's embarrassed.

So he just follows the other quietly out and to the car. He had never been in just, well, a normal car. It had always been the most expensive cars with luxurious insides. This was very different, but it wasn't bad. He settles into the chair before looking out the window.

Even though he's exhausted, he doesn't sleep. Instead, he spends the entire time looking out the window; fingers gently pressed against the glass as he watches the scenery go by them as Jonathan drives. Completely transfixed.

Jonathan had to stare for a moment. He'd never really seen Abel so genuinely flustered before especially at a compliment. He was so used to him eating up the attention that he didn't think something like this was even possible. It was rather adorable.

His car is definitely not as fancy as the ones they get driven around in, still looking practically brand new given how rarely he actually uses it in comparison.

Jonathan manages a few glances in Abel's direction, watching him stare at the world with an almost child-like fascination. As if he was just now seeing everything for the first time. When the scenery changes to the city-scape, he drives a little slower, taking his time driving through various streets with no clear destination before he does eventually park somewhere.

There's a bit of a crowd, mostly of the tourist sort, but there was sightseeing that could be done here and a few restaurants, museums, cafes and little food places, Abel could try if he wanted.

He steps around to Abel's side to open the door for him, "If you want to leave at any point, just let me know, okay?"

There was never any real interest in the outside world in all the times they had gone into the city. No matter how many times he attended a concert or ballet or opera or whatever influential party he had attended, he never had been interested. Maybe it was because he knew that his attendance was set in stone. There was no wandering the city streets or seeing the sights. It was going from point A to point B then back to point A.

Now though? It was very different to know that there wasn't a limit. For the first time, the cage door was open and he could be in it instead of viewing it from a cage.

Stepping out of the car felt so odd. A tentative step into cobblestone before he finds himself standing. No appointments to make or people to meet. No obligations of any kind.

It didn't feel real.

He pulls hos coat on and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his trench as he looks around him. Almost lost. "Leave? I don't know where to start."

Jonathan watches the other with a soft smile, shutting the door behind Abel and locking the car. Giving him a moment to adjust and prepare himself for the long day of exploring.

"How about we start this way?" He asks as he already starts to step backwards in the opposite direction, towards one of the more occupied streets. Jonathan offered a little guidance, here and there, but he wanted Abel to have full control of his experience. He lead him to a few sights, lingered at a park with a fountain as a break, offered a few food places nearby for Abel to try if he wanted.

As many times as he's been to the city, whether it be working with Abel, by himself or with family, watching someone like Abel take it all in like it was the first time was something he likely would never forget. There was that look of wonder almost or the little smile, he thinks, that peeks in the corner of Abel's mouth.

The day passed a lot quicker than he was expecting though. Maybe because he found this rather fun and he was just happy that Abel was enjoying himself for once. He doesn't mention leaving until the other experiences the night life a bit, despite being a bit exhausted himself. A day of walking around would certainly do that to a person.

They had dinner at one of Jonathan's favorite places, a mom and pop restaurant that he and his family are regulars at. The owners tease him a bit when he brings Abel in and gets rather flustered by it, losing his cool for the rest of the meal. There's a street vendor for flowers once they start walking again, that Jonathan leaves Abel for a moment, only to return by giving Abel a single deep-red carnation.

"Thanks for letting me take you away from the estate, even though I didn't exactly give you a choice to decline it." He says, glancing away and rubbing at the back of his neck, "Did you enjoy today in the city?"

He thought that it would be more overwhelming to be around so many people. While the thoughts around him were abundant, it was more like white noise. Perhaps it's because he had always been stuck in situations that he didn't want to be in. With nothing to focus his attention on, all he could do was concentrate on the medley of thoughts around him. Here though, there were other things to focus on. Things to enjoy.

Maybe that was the difference. He had little to enjoy, but here he could appreciate and enjoy himself completely. There was nothing to distract his wandering mind in most situations before. Here though, he has too many things to distract himself with. New experiences one after the other. Being a nobody in a grand city was...nice.

They spend much of their time just wandering. In particular, Jonathan finds the other dragging him into quaint little bookstores and music shops. It seemed that Abel had hobbies and interests of some sort. Particulars that was hard to know about because all he did was work. Yet, Abel seemed to be particularly fond of romance novels and he seemed rather taken with music; spending a rather long amount of time admiring some beautifully restored violins or lingering at sleek pianos. He didn't buy anything, but at least Abel seemed to not be completely devoid of any interests.

If he was tired, he shows very little signs of being so. Perhaps there was just too many things to enjoy for him to think about how his body aches. It isn't until they're eating dinner that he really feels it catching up.

He doesn't answer his question right away as he examines the flower in his hand. His mother was an avid gardener. He remembers the time he spent with her when he was younger. Before things turned for the worst. The meaning wasn't lost to him. "Quite so. It's far more interesting than behind a tinted glass window." He looks over at Jonathan. "Were there particular reasons you chose a carnation and in this color, Jonathan?"

As the other pulled him along, he made it a point to pay attention to the little things. Jonathan wasn't a musician or by any sense musically inclined but the instruments in the music shop were beautiful. Watching the other spend his time staring at such things made him wonder but he's also glad to find out what might pique the other's interests.

He was elated to hear that Abel enjoyed the day's adventure. He's not sure if they'll ever get the opportunity to do this sort of thing again after these next few days but it was worth it.

Jonathan knew very little about flower language, what he did know, he learned from the little sister of one of the agents working under his parents who owned a flower shop. She was patient with him the few times he was ordered to ever bring flowers for any of his jobs, giving him little crash courses here and there.

So when Abel asks him about the choice of carnation and its color, he flusters a bit more, "I thought... a rose would be too formal." A rose and a carnation had similar meanings along with the color red, however, the rose was the only one of the two that had another meaning attached to the number you gave.

His voice softens a little as he focuses on the flower in Abel's hand, "It means love and affection from what I was told." Jonathan could have easily picked a flower in yellow for friendship or something else entirely but he didn't. At first, it was just a going to be a simple gesture, one he's done before with others but now that he's having to explain himself, he knows its more than that.

He might as well be honest about his choice, had he not, Abel could very well have read his thought process. "Sorry... should I not have?" He asks.

"I used to garden with my mother," Cain comments. It's innocuous, but Cain rarely talks about any details about himself. "She quite fancied flower language."

He looks at the flower in his hand again; brows furrowing a little as he twirls it. "You know that it won't work out, right?" It isn't an outright denial of his emotions or a proper rejection, but an observation. As if he can freely pursue his valet. Cain didn't have the luxury of getting to choose who he wanted to be with. He didn't have that kind of freedom.

"The sentiment is nice though. Thank you. You know you're really much too kind," he replies with a soft smile. "An absolute idiot though. I don't know why you go out of your way, honestly. I can read your thoughts, yet I really don't understand." Jonathan is so simple to understand, yet perplexes him so much.

"Really? I never would'v taken you as someone with a bit of a green thumb." Jonathan replies, he keeps the little fact in mind if he ever gives Cain flowers again in the future. It was nice to learn more about him than just what he kept at the surface.

When the other reminds him that this sort of arrangement would never work out, he smiles a little, "I know." A valet falling for his charge was always going to be a bit of a double edge sword and he knows nothing longstanding may come from it. Even if it was a secret they held in subtle touches or behind closed doors, it was bound to hurt both of them if Cain's father found out. "Still... It doesn't hurt to try, right?"

The acceptance of the flower makes Jonathan smile wider, his gaze lingering on Cain's soft smile. Though, his expression is quick to change to being fake hurt at being called an idiot, chuckling it off. "Treating people I care about to nice things that may make them happy is just what I do. There aren't any hidden strings."

He holds out his arm, "Do you want to go home or did you still want to walk around for a bit?"

"Gardening is probably a strong word for pouring water onto plants until she told me to stop less I drown them," Cain replies back. "My mother enjoyed tending them and I enjoyed spending time with her. I believe I spent more time admiring than actual gardening." He also hadn't done those kind of things in a long while. Decades.

And he can't help but laugh. It's such a naive statement. Another reminder that he would be dirtying the other and causing unnecessary heartache for the other. Jonathan deserved much more than a jaded man who had no freedom or happiness in his future. "I think if you have to ask, you already know the answer." Cain doesn't give the other an answer, but perhaps there's something warning in his tone.

A click of his tongue. "I really don't understand," he reiterates, but ultimately drops the subject.

"I'm tired. I think I've had enough of the city for the day." It's a good ache though. Physically and mentally. An experience he won't be forgetting for the rest of his life.

As Cain talks about his mother with such fondness, Jonathan wonders how different of a person he might've been had he been raised in her care instead of by his father's cruel hand. "I'm sure you were a great helper. Watering is equally an important step alongside everything else in gardening." He can certainly see the other as more of an observer in that memory.

Cain knew that he was the stubborn sort and wouldn't give up on him so easily despite being told too for his benefit. The heartache or the other's concern of dirtying him weren't really thoughts he kept on the table to worry over. He hums as if considering the other's words though he doesn't say much in return.

Jonathan smiles softly, giving a final comment before letting the subject be dropped, "You'll figure it out one day." Cain was one of the smartest people he'd work alongside so he knows he'll understand in time.

"Home it is then." He leads the other back in the direction of where they had parked earlier in the day, a majority of the spots around them still filled with the nightlife crowd. The drive to his parent's home wasn't nearly as far as the drive from the estate to the city but still long enough if one wanted to doze off, which he thinks Cain might fall for.

The home itself was located in one of the more fancier neighborhoods, not nearly the size of the estate but still large enough to house a family of nine comfortably when everyone made a home visit, which was... more often than most for families whose children have left the nest.

He just kind of gives an undignified snort and a roll of his eyes. Sentimentality isn't something that Abel often partakes in. Possibly because he had very few good memories to look back to or perhaps it's seen as a point of weakness that he couldn't show.

The car ride is quiet, but partially because Abel dozes off in the car. The smaller man is curled up in the seat; fingers still curled around the flower that the other had given him. Despite his words, he seems to cling to the flower in his sleep, betraying his real feelings about the matter.

In the low light, Jonathan had only managed a few glances in Abel's direction during the drive, long enough to catch he had dozed off and that he was still holding onto the flower whenever they passed under a streetlight but he hadn't really thought much of it until they reached the house and he had parked in the driveway.

He wasn't quick to leave his seat as he took off his seatbelt, leaning over to do the same for Abel without waking him up in the process. The gentle lift of the other's arm through the seatbelt, the gentle maneuver of inching Abel away from the door to slowly easing off the seatbelt so it didn't clink against the door.

It takes a minute to get out of the car and make his way over to the other side, easily picking up Abel to carry him inside. The other was light enough for it not to be an issue, Jonathan did have to motion to his parents when they come to greet him at the door to be quiet so as not to wake the other before carrying him to his room.

Jonathan slowly places Abel onto the bed as he sat on the edge, gently taking the flower he had been clinging to, making a note to get a small vase for it later, and running his fingers against the other's hair to brush the strands away from his face.

Abel didn't really known the feeling of being safe with another. Not since loving embraces with his mother years ago. That was ages ago and all he had left were letters his mother would write to him that were delivered by staff. Love letters between a broken relationship torn apart by his father.

Jonathan felt safe though and so Abel doesn't stir much when they lift him up. Instead, he merely tucks his head against the other; seeking warmth while blissfully lost in his slumber.

It isn't until he is settled into bed and fingers gently brush against his face that he shifts. Eyes fluttering open, though unfocused. He doesn't sit up, but his eyes dart around to take in his surroundings. His voice a little hoarse when he speaks. "Did I fall asleep?" A dumb question, but he earnestly might still be half asleep still.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He smiles softly at the other, "Yeah, you were pretty much out like a light during the drive. We're at my folk's place now so you can rest easy." Jonathan tilts his head, running his fingers through Abel's hair before he slowly took his hand back. He was prepared to let the other go back to sleep on the bed while he probably took a spot on the floor, they had a long day after all.

Jonathan shifts to get up, mostly to find an extra blanket and to make Abel more comfortable, "Go back to sleep." They didn't have any sort of schedule to keep while they were here so he wasn't about to wake the other up early tomorrow, though whether or not Abel actually slept in for once was up to him.

While his family was excited to finally meet Abel for the first time, they also didn't want to overwhelm and potentially crowd his space while he visited.

Abel lets his eyes flutter close for a moment when Jonathan runs his fingers through his hair. Sleep. That sounded good.

But then the other moves to get up and he knows he should let the other do so. Yet, Abel reaches out to grab Jonathan's wrist. Abel knew that them getting attached to each other was a bad idea. He knows better, but- "Stay."

Well, it's not as though Abel was very good at doing what was better for him.

Jonathan wasn't expecting the other to grab his wrist to stop him from leaving, he turns towards the other, "Okay." He wouldn't deny such a rare request. He scoots Abel a little further towards the other side of the bed to give him enough space to lay on his side next to him.

He figured once Abel had gone back to sleep, he would find that extra blanket but for now he just cups the other's cheek and places a soft kiss on his forehead before he wraps an arm around the other's waist to keep him close. It wasn't until he laid down himself that he realized how tired he was, finding it rather easy to slowly drift off, though still attentive.

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It's been so long I've been using Cain instead of Abel LMAO

whoops on both of us lol

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