prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

Jonathan lifts his head up a little, just enough to look up at the other, tilting it as if he was confused by the question.

Your friendship? I don't need to gain anything else.

He didn't need possible favors or money or influence or whatever high society could provide. He had no need for it. The people Abel interacted with at socials and meetings were the very opposite in what they wanted or expected from others so he can understand where the question was coming from.

I know you and I come from very different worlds but I think its time you learned that not all relationships require strings.

So much of Abel was a mystery to him. And while he answered his more pressing questions in the moment, he felt like there was so much he didn't know about him. The way the other man says the word back to him like it was a question tips him off that he really didn't know how to might look from an outside perspective.

Punishment holds lasting consequences, does it not? I may not know your father's and yours entire relationship with each other but clearly whatever punishment involves leaves for traumatic experiences...

While Jonathan doesn't know about Abel's claustrophobia, he immediately equates the injuries and the state he found the other in to his father regardless. It does lead him to the question he did want to ask Abel though.

The hyena lets out a soft laugh, one that his kind was known for at the comment.

I may be but you are a mystery to me in comparison.

The man look rather conflicted by that answer. Doubtful even. "Why should I believe that?" Again, it wasn't really accusatory. It definitely seemed unlikely in Abel's mind though. He hasn't very much met people who were kind to him merely to be kind. Because they merely wanted his company for him. He didn't quite believe it could merely just be that. That Jonathan had completely genuine and innocent reasons.

He knew what was going through Jonathan's head though and knew the other wasn't thinking of some ulterior motive, which made this all the more confusing to him.

"Hmm." He doesn't really say more on the matter and mulls over Jonathan's words and his experiences. Had never really considered what lasting effects it left. There was never really time to fix things or anything. He had just kept going because he had no choice but to be resilient.

It's the first time he was considering that his current state was poor. He had always known that it wasn't quite right and that it was unfair, but this was really the first time that he had also thought about poor his conditions were in a multitude of ways.

It was a bit of an upsetting thing to think about.

He absentmindedly ran his fingers through the soft fur. "A mystery. How so?"

Even if you don't believe it, it doesn't change the fact that it remains true. I know that high society connections can be incredibly tempting for an outsider like me but I'm quite happy with what I have.

The hyena lets out a deep breath, lowering his head into Abel's lap and tilting it so the top of his head pressed against the other man's torso, closing his eyes for the moment.

I just... want to keep you a part of it. Even when my contract ends... I still want to have you in my life because I enjoy your company. Despite how much you drive me a little nuts sometimes.

Words were much easier to get out when he could just bury his face in some way. This might sound like some sort of confession and maybe in some way it was. Jonathan hadn't quite figured out his feelings for the other but he knew he wanted to keep this odd relationship with him.

Had the other kept on insulting him up until this point, maybe he wouldn't. He'd still help him but it wouldn't be at the same level as this.

Jonathan lets that part of the conversation drop as he lets Abel piece together the pieces that punishment was much deeper than he thought it was. To get him to see his situation as a whole beyond the surface level.

As he felt fingers run through his fur, he feels a little proud at that. When the question comes, he's quiet still. He's had plenty of time to observe thus far, make his theories.

Hmmm... well most of it I can guess. For instance, when we have to go out, social and meetings and whatnot, you seem so in your element and yet I can tell that you also don't like it and I'm not sure if its because you don't like interacting with such people or because you have to on your father's behalf.

Abel is skeptical. He doesn't quite thing the other is interested in anything his family or himself can offer, but he also can't believe that there isn't something the other doesn't want. His friendship? That's ridiculous.

"Well, that's not possible," Abel replies. "You won't have authorization to be on the estate grounds." Even if the other managed to be in the same place as him; he wasn't exactly an easily accessible guy. It was unlikely that Jonathan would get to speak to him again once he was no longer employed.

It wasn't even particularly because Abel was disinterested in perhaps keeping company with the other, but that he doesn't think it was plausible.

Abel mulls over those words for a moment. "It's easy to pretend to be something you aren't when you know exactly how to please people. It's why my father wanted me to do all this. I can win people over because I know what goes through their heads." He stops petting the other for a moment. "I just spent years being something I'm not." He's just a fake and he isn't quite sure what part of his personality is an act and what part of it was an honest part of him.

"I like people, but I don't really understand them." Probably a bit odd to hear someone who caters to charming someone, but people mystify him. He really only understood others in a shallow manner.

When you don't understand something, one tends to fear that thing. Abel was afraid of people.

Jonathan was the least suspect for anything remotely criminal and yet, he wouldn't mind for Abel. There's another soft laugh at that and the idea.

You say that as if that would stop me. I mean, getting arrested for trespassing doesn't sound fun... like at all... but its not like the estate doesn't have weak spots somewhere.

Magic was a tricky thing and perhaps he spoke too soon and Abel's father has some sort of magic barrier of some kind surrounding the grounds. Who really knows? Maybe that was just a movie sort of thing or maybe he just needed to take a walk around the grounds to make sure.

In retrospect, their paths would rarely, if ever, cross once his contract was up. Sure, there would be social functions he might be hired for but the chances of Abel attending the same ones were slim at best. If he's being honest, the idea of never getting to see the other again still makes his heart sink.

Jonathan is quiet while the other speaks. To know his father was using him like some pawn for winning hearts to gain what he needed was almost cruel. That the other man was playing the same role for years to the point he may not know how to truly be himself was rather depressing. He can't help but give a soft whine in reply to all it.

Is it because you don't allow yourself to get attached to anyone because they'll eventually leave?

Its then that he has an idea, lifting his head enough to look up at Abel, ears tilted back. It was a rather dumb idea really but if he got Abel to meet people that genuinely would enjoy his company at the same level as he did, that might help bring out more of his own personality besides his public persona he played. And who better to break that ice than his own family.

Come with me tomorrow. You gave me the time off, right? So why not take it off as well... away from here.

"It's one thing to get onto the estate. It's another thing to get to my room," Abel says with a shake of his head. The other seemed to think that it was going to be fine once he no longer was working. Maybe he should let the other be hopeful, but Abel had always been rather real about his situation. His father had done a good job to isolate him and he saw no real future. His cards had been laid out and they just weren't great.

The taste is bitter on his tongue though and he rather change the topic. For some reason, the other being sad for him bothered him more than the fact that his situation was honestly awful. He didn't like it.

"Who is there to get attached to?" Maybe the other was right. Maybe he was too scared to get attached to anyone, but he can't think of someone that has been in his life at a point where he could really get attached to them.

He raises an eyebrow when the other offers him to join them with their day off. "Yes, you have the time off, but that doesn't mean I have the time off." When has the man last had a day off? He doesn't take days off. "I'm not allowed to leave the estate except for work you know." Did Jonathan think that he could just waltz out of the estate without him getting into some sort of trouble?

Abel had a point. While he never checked the windows in the estate, he highly doubts Abel's actually open, let alone any of them. And he isn't about to make a scene and ruining the element of surprise by jumping through one of the windows to get to the other. That's just asking for more trouble.

Jonathan breathes out a rather defeated sigh at the thought. His contract wouldn't be up for a bit while longer so there really was no use lingering on the future when things very well may change before then.

People who've come before me? People who you see more often?

What does he know really? It was hard to picture Abel getting attached to any of the familiar faces he's managed to pick out of the crowds as of late. Then there was his father's intentions and none of it seemed to work out in the way he originally thought.

Jonathan lifts up his head, giving it a gently shake.

Your father isn't a mind-reader, right? So I'll handle it should something happen... just come with me. Please. I think it might do you some good and its not like you can get much work done until you heal so...

He was fully prepared to take responsibility for his request, he may get easily flustered but he can be a fairly decent actor when he needs to be. And he can't imagine lying to Abel's father, should questions arise, to be that difficult either.

"I don't have anyone like that. The only people I see are socialites at parties, politicians, and other business personnel," Abel says with a bit of a frown. Jonathan had surely seen his day to day long enough to figure that Abel didn't really have anyone he really had reason to get attached to.

Maybe that was incredibly depressing, but Abel didn't seem to have much of an emotional reaction about it. Couldn't really miss what he never had. Even as a child, he had been fairly estranged and kept to himself on the estate. He had made friends when he had gone to school for a short while, but he hadn't seen any of them since he had been removed from his private school to be home tutored.

Abel mulls over Jonathan's words for a moment before finally shrugging. "I suppose I don't see why not. You seem intent on not taking no for an answer, besides." What's the worst that will happen?

He also would be lying if there wasn't a certain amount of excitement of leaving the estate to enjoy himself. To perhaps live a normal day for once.

Abel truly was alone.

The hyena makes a noise, almost akin to a hum as he drops that part of the conversation. He ponders on it a for a bit longer, what that must feel like, how Abel could continue to be in such a situation after all this time.

That particular thought train is quickly tossed as Abel speaks again.

Jonathan's mood perks up instantly when Abel finally agrees to his request. His tail thuds against the floor before soft swiping can he heard as it wagged against the floor. Now he needed to heed to his promise.

You won't regret it.

He's a bit more affectionate than he should be as he lifts his head up further to nuzzle against the other, careful not to be too forceful so as not to put the other off balance.

He wanted Abel to experience life, even for a moment, without his father's influence. Even if its only for a day or two.

I do have to apologize in advance though... my folks can be a bit... much. But it'll be fun.

Abel had been mentioned to them since the beginning, especially to his mother, Sayre. Guess this meant he needed to check in with them again later, perhaps after dinner. They could easily stay at his own apartment instead but more positive interactions were something that he felt Abel should experience for a little while.

Ah, Jonathan's mood picking up makes the taste in his mouth far less bitter. If anything, at least appeasing the other makes him feel a little better, as little as that is. It'll be awhile for his own mood to pick up.

"I don't regret many things," Abel simply replies with. It's not exactly a lie. He can't say that there are things that he really regrets. Even making his father upset wasn't much of a regret. Were days like these god awful? Absolutely. He can't say he can regret it if he still continues to antagonize the man though. Everything else in his life isn't so much of a regret as just a monotonous everyday.

Bitterness though, was a feeling that he was well acquainted with.

"Well, if they aren't tossing their children into small closets, than I think I'll take whatever extra they happen to be." Ah. He hadn't really meant to say that. Slighting his father was one thing, but bringing up the particulars wasn't really something he liked to talk about.

That's good... I suppose.

To have little to no regrets was certainly some type of gift. Even through the thick of potential punishment, he guessed one needed to if life was like this. Add flavor to it and all that.

Small...closets?

Its not the most common thing to add so casually into a conversation unless it meant more than the other was letting on. Was that what happened? Was that the reason he found the other in such a state? If so then that made, Abel's father even more of a cruel bastard.

Jonathan shakes his head, taking a step back from the other only to hop up on Abel's bed and pull Abel closer to himself, curling up loosely around him. Abel will find himself deep in soft fur but with enough room to pull away if he wanted the space.

Never mind, you don't have to tell me.

Abel didn't need to tell him more about it if it was a sour subject, imagining it most likely was. He does answer back to the comment with a huff of breath.

They don't, by the way, though they can be a bit overwhelming. Too loving, really.

He knows are much his parent dote on him and his siblings, but it also translates to everyone that knows them; no matter how high they are on the food chain. And Abel was about to experience all of them all at once instead of in pairs like most would.

"Bugger." He most definitely doesn't want to talk about it. Not because he was ashamed about it, but that he simply had no intentions of burdening the other with what happens between his father and himself.

He also just didn't want to talk about it. Abel wasn't really someone who aired his grievances and bottled them up. Kept it to himself. He hadn't had someone to confide in before, besides.

Instead of talking about it, he just buries himself in Jonathan's fur. It was warm and soft. Comforting. He buries his face against the other and doesn't reply. The idea of being too loving seems so odd. Is it really possible to be too loving? Wasn't loving supposed to be a positive thing? How can someone be too loving? It didn't sound like it was possible. He can't fathom it.

"Too loving sounds odd," Abel says finally. "I can't say I understand the sentiment." Of course he doesn't.

Jonathan watches Abel for a few moments before his expression softens and he lowers his head against the bed. This was the first time he's ever had anyone other than family curl up against him like this and it was rather... nice.

Trust me when I say, you'll catch up on your missing decades tomorrow. Also, I didn't mean it to come off as if it was a nuisance... being too loving.

He pauses for a moment, staring at the comforter. All he's ever known was love and support while he knows the other likely hasn't and still doesn't. Thinking that Abel might get a bit overwhelmed by his siblings curiosity or his parents doting.

My folks get very easily attached so don't be surprised if you are informally adopted by them after the first day. Its a strange habit of theirs.

His bodyguard director parents had thought of their entire division as family. Stronger bonds means for a certain level of trust and thus a more uniform work style. It was enough to earn massive praise so clearly they were doing something right with it. The same could apply to his more artistic parents but swap bodyguards for models or a small close-knit team.

Jonathan imagines they'll take a shining to Abel, especially after everything he's told them about the man pressed against him thus far minus his abilities, of course.

"Kind of odd when they probably won't see me again anytime soon," Abel replies with. The sentiment was...nice? He thinks. A little odd, but he guesses people who can so easily appreciate another person's company is nice to hear. A far cry from upholding some stuffy image that most socialites held.

Abel doesn't really think much about it. He was really just going because the other really wanted him to and the idea of leaving his place just sounded alluring. Meeting Jonathan's family was just apparently how he was going to spend his time and it certainly sounded better than his usual.

He's too exhausted to really argue anyways. The adrenaline has long since left his body and he just felt fatigued now. Jonathan may realize it with how Abel's breathing seems to slow and even out and the way his grip in Jonathan's fur seems to loosen as the man seemingly dozes off.

It has been a rather tiring ordeal for the other, after all.

They'll still consider you family no matter the time passage.

While he thought about staying at his folks place for a day or two, being cooped up in one house only to leave and be cooped up in another wasn't totally his plan. He wanted for Abel to experience what wasn't high-end social events and more the average joe's sort of day but they'll figure it out later.

When Jonathan notices the changes in Abel, he lifts his head to see that the other had dozed off and curls up around him a little tighter as he takes the time to doze off himself. There wasn't much he could do now that the other was asleep and he didn't dare move either. After what Abel experienced, he deserved as much rest as he could get.

He only stirs when the eventual knock on the adjoining door happens, indicating dinner time had finally arrived. Jonathan lifts his head to yawn, a small noise escaping him as he glances over at Abel. He's not quite sure how he's going to move the other without jostling him too much.

Its a slow process as he maneuvers out from underneath Abel as he picks the other up and sets him back down in the warm spot that he leaves as he steps off the bed, pulling a blanket over him. When Jonathan reaches the adjoining door, he waits a few moments before opening it and stepping inside of his room.

There some time before he walks back into Abel's room, having shifted back and changed into some lounge clothes of his own. He had contacted his parents while he ate his portion of dinner to explain his plans and they sounded rather excited about it. Of course, they would be. Jonathan sets down the tray of food on the table as usual before walking back towards the bed and sits on the edge.

He almost didn't want to wake the other up because he always seemed to look to peaceful sleeping but the other also needed to eat. After his injuries and possibly not eaten much beforehand, he needed to get the other to wake up for just a little while then he can go back to bed if he wanted.

Jonathan reaches out, his hand hesitating to stroke the other's cheek awake so he opts for shaking Abel's shoulder instead. "Abel...?"

Abel is usually a very light sleeper. Getting up wasn't really a strong suit of his and he struggled to get out of bed proper, but he wasn't a heavy sleeper. He was just a bad morning person. The man was utterly exhausted though and doesn't seem to wake up when the other manages to maneuver off the bed and leaving the slumbering man to curl up under the blankets.

He lets out a low whine when the other tries to wake him up. Not particularly enthused at the idea of being awoken in the slightest, it seems. Abel is acutely aware about how much his entire body felt so heavy. His hands and arms ached and his throat felt ragged. The man tries to curl up tighter into himself, not wanting to get up.

His appetite has always been a rather fickle thing and he couldn't tell if he was hungry at all with how exhausted his body felt. "Sleep..." As though that is a very helpful reply to the other. He wanted to sleep more...

Jonathan was the complete opposite in that regard. A heavy sleeper but out of habit, will wake up at the sound of a simple door click, especially if he was working. Had there not been a knock for dinner, he most likely would've kept napping until he woke up on his own or if his phone went off.

Working with Abel, he knows just how terrible he was at waking up and right now, he didn't blame him for wanted to sleep more.

"I know, I know." Jonathan reaches out to lightly run fingers through Abel's hair, "But you need to eat something... you can go back to sleep afterwards, promise." Obviously, he'll try to get the other to eat, at least, one more time before he drops it completely to simply let him rest. There was no use arguing over the matter past that.

Dinner happened to be a soup tonight, something light but warm to help besides the usual pot of tea. There was dessert like always but he didn't think Abel would stay awake long enough to eat it.

"You wouldn't have to get out of bed..." He tries to coax the other into trying to eat something. Fully prepared to feed it to him if it would be easier for Abel considering the injuries to his hands.

Abel leans into the touch just a tad. It's gentle. Comforting. It's not a feeling he really experiences very often. It's not something he experiences from another, really. He liked it.

He does finally push himself into a sitting position though. "Fine, fine. I'm up," he replies tiredly. He guesses the other was right and he was already sluggish as is. He'd probably struggle even more to get up the next morning. Low blood sugar in the morning and possibly being a bit cross, since he certainly hated getting up.

That, and he isn't sure if he'll sleep so well tonight. He's surprised he slept well at all in the first place. His dreams were far from friendly.

The other might have to just feed the other. The way his hands shake a bit and the obvious pain of trying to hold the spoon in his fingers. He certainly is a bit stubborn, but it definitely was a struggle to eat at the moment.

Abel really seemed like someone who hid his weaknesses because showing weakness would have him eaten alive in such an unforgiving setting.

There's a soft smile as Abel leans into the touch, it reminded him of that morning on his second day where he did the same. Though he shuts the thought almost immediately since he's kept that a secret all this time. It would be rather foolish to let a stray thought reveal it now. Not that it really mattered. He's already seen Abel at his most vulnerable.

Jonathan helps the other sit up, just in case, before he moves to stand and cross the room to grab the dinner tray. Setting it on the bedside table and taking a seat in his former spot on the bed's edge close to the other before passing the spoon towards Abel to see if he could manage or not while he held onto the bowl.

When he sees him struggle though, he motions for the spoon and feeds him instead. Much like a parent would for their sick or injured child. The bowl hovered below every time he lifted a spoonful since no one wanted to have warm soup spill on themselves.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight? or would you prefer to be alone?" He asks as he lifts up a another spoonful. It didn't matter which Abel chose, he just wanted the other to be as comfortable as possible. And he can't imagine a day like today would allow for a peaceful sleep.

He doesn't relinquish the spoon at first until the other takes it from him. A stubborn man through and through and he hated to be this weak. He couldn't even clench his hands into fists without quite a bit of work.

"You don't have to stay," Abel says automatically. He wasn't going to subject the other to babysitting him. He wasn't about to start having to rely on someone when he had gotten this far without needing to rely on someone else for any kind of support.

It's not like the other had to lose sleep because he was going to lose sleep. One of them can have a peaceful night of sleep.

Weakness was no one's favorite game. Especially when one struggles to rely on others. Jonathan tries to imagine Abel going through all of this on his own and what that might've looked like. Did other valets help him through this too? or was he the first? or did they ignore him?

"Is that what you want or is that you're pride talking?" He asks, they seemed to have very different views and while he'll always respect the other's choice. He can't help but feel the other will always keep him at arm's length because that was something he was always used to doing.

Sleep didn't matter to him with how easily he can sleep anywhere and with habit burned into him, he can easily stay up if need be. He's quiet until Abel finishes the bowl and turns to place it on the tray, offering up the cup of tea and the dessert to see if Abel wanted either choice.

"You know my door is always open to you should you need it." He says softly, he did plan to leave the adjoining door cracked open if Abel told him not to stay.

Abel didn't have much of an appetite, but the man takes both. The tea was more for his nerve and it was somewhat soothing for his throat. The dessert was simply because he just wanted it. It did make him feel a tad better, as sweets tended to do. Even if he's slow to eat it.

"It's what I want," Abel replies firmly. Of course, this was probably his pride talking. Ever so stubborn and he doesn't think he really has to force someone to watch him while he slept. He could surely weather through this.

He looks down at the contents of his tea cup. "I'll be fine." Will he really though? It's not a very good lie, but maybe he's saying it for himself more than to convince the other.

Jonathan hums softly with a slight nod, accepting Abel's choice. He's proud of the other for eating as much as he did when he usually didn't bother to touch most of his food besides the tea and dessert.

He does give the other a soft look when he says he's fine, he finds it hard to believe, of course, but he doesn't press further. He raises his hand, gently setting it on the other's head before he leans forward to place a kiss against his temple.

The action was likely going to be read differently by the other and while he hasn't come to terms with his own feelings, he intended for it to be in a platonic sense. Comfort and affection went a long way in circumstances like this.

"I'll leave the teapot with you, in case you want more. Try to get some rest, though if you need or want it at any point tonight, you can always sleep with me. I won't mind." He gives the other a soft smile as he gets to his feet, piling the dishes onto the tray before leaving the teapot behind and taking the rest in hand, "Goodnight, Abel." Heading towards his room, he glancing back at the other before leaving the door open a bit behind him.

Jonathan finds it difficult to fall asleep afterwards, knowing what he knows now made his thoughts swim as he stared at the ceiling before he eventually drifted to sleep.

Ah. He isn't sure how to feel about the hand on his head and the kiss that follows it. He had never really let anyone get passed his walls. Had never had anyone really attempt to. It's all rather confusing for him and he frowns a little in thought.

He bids the other a good evening as he looks at his tea as though it might tell him the answer to his conflicted thoughts and feelings. Eventually, he finishes the cup and places it back on its saucer. Abel only eats a bit of the dessert before he's really too tired to stay awake and curls back into his sheets to sleep.

Abel hadn't even realized the other hadn't shut the door completely, and it's smart of the other.

It isn't too long before the other might hear the constantly rustling of sheets followed by sobbing and then hoarse screaming. Because it was silly for anyone to think that he would have any semblance of decent sleep after the day he had gone through.

Jonathan didn't catch the rustling of sheets at first, slowly sitting up in a sleepy confusion when he picks up sobbing while he rubs at his eyes which quickly grew to practically jumping at the sound of hoarse screaming. He should have known better than to leave Abel alone tonight even with his firm decision that he'd be fine alone. Thank god, he left the door open. Otherwise, he would have never caught it.

He peels off the covers and walks over the adjoined door and quickly passing through to sit at the edge of Abel's bed like before. Hands instantly going to the other's shoulders to still his movements for a moment.

"Abel..! Hey!" There's a shake of his own to get the other to wake up, an attempt to pull him out of whatever nightmare he was having. He wasn't going to leave the other alone for the rest of the night after this, even if he tells him to leave.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject