prohibitions | When love became an act of defiance

Abel's hands always had a lot of character to them. They were the only parts of him that were visibly marred. It was one of the real indications about Abel's more nervous nature. The way he fussed and fretted with his fingers. The burn marks on them were rarely ever because of his father, but because of his bad tendency to fuss with his cigarettes.

Still, they never looked this bad or at least Abel had never been injured in any capacity. The way his nails were chipped and broken and his skin raw if not scabbed over from where the skin hadn't been ripped and torn completely. Some deeper injuries might not have been completely scabbed either.

"I've broken them before," Abel replies. His expression is dazed; eyes unfocused. He's still waking up. Or perhaps his mind was elsewhere.

After tagging along to so many meetings and elaborate functions with not much to do but observe the other, he's likely memorized Abel's hands. Old scars and now new, picked edges and otherwise. He can't fix the chipped and broken nails beside clip and file them as best that he could without going to short. But that was a task for later.

"Skin, nail or bone?" He asks, brows furrowed a little, hoping the other would say one of the formers rather than the latter but desperation and fear can lead to any sort of injury.

Jonathan keeps his palms facing up underneath Abel's wrists, he didn't want to get up just yet to fetch the first aid kit to clean and re-bandage the other's hands because he wanted to hear what the other had to say.

Abel chuckles a little at that. There's something sad and bitter about it. "Is that really a question you're asking?" His skin and nails are already pretty messed up right now. Surely the other knows it would be the latter. It's not really a question worth asking because Jonathan already knew the answer. Or perhaps he's too optimistic and doesn't want to accept the answer.

"It could be worse," he says quietly. Perhaps that's not very reassuring.

Abel confirms his original thought and it was nothing short of heartbreaking. Jonathan couldn't possibly fathom how that would even come to be, he can imagine dislocated shoulders but somehow not broken fingers. He frowns as he gives Abel's wrists a soft, almost reassuring squeeze.

"Was I around for that one?" He asks softly after a moment, its not like it would have mattered now but some part of him wants to know. He remembers the slammed doors and the much quieter ones but he never sought out trying to help when he knew he should have.

Always figuring Abel wanted to be alone and now he understands why. The idea of it eats away at him all the same. Almost like he was rather useless, his bodyguard experience burns in the sense that he should've been there to protect Abel, despite the fact, he wasn't hired to be one and has to constantly tell himself that. His hands were tied and he didn't like it.

Jonathan gives a small shake of his head as if trying to clear his thoughts, change his mood, "Do you want me to bandage them again?"

"It usually doesn't get that bad," Abel replies. "Not anymore. I can't work if I'm incapacitated." He got into more trouble when he was younger, but not as much now. Either because Abel became less unruly or neither just had the time to get mad at each other. It does probably say a lot about his relationship with his father though. Or lackof, really. They obviously didn't interact all that regularly and it seemed like it never went well when they did.

Abel makes a bit of a scoff. "You shouldn't really take this so personally. I purposely arrange your days off around the times that he wants to see me. You were never supposed to be this deeply involved." He had been determined of it, honestly. He didn't want Jonathan's pity or sympathy, nor did he want the other so deeply involved.

Of course, that doesn't matter much now. "Just wrap them again. I'm too tired. Can you get my cigarettes after?" It isn't a demand, though it wasn't really something Jonathan could say no to. But it's still odd that Abel had asked instead of demanded all the same.

There was some comfort knowing that the instances didn't escalate that far anymore and instead were far more manageable. It really put into perspective how taut Abel's relationship with his father was whenever they met up.

Jonathan can't help but imagine how different this would've been had he never noticed the blood on the door frame. None of this would be happening, there wouldn't have been such moments of vulnerability and they would've gone on the same as they always have been with him still in the dark. He doesn't reply to Abel at first because of the comment that he was never supposed to be so deeply involved struck a cord with him.

Abel had always meant to keep him at arm's length and yet, it took only a small slip up to change that. He did find it strange that Abel asked for his cigarettes though.

"Of course. Hang tight for a second." He offers a soft smile before he leaves the other for the bathroom, taking the old bandages with him. He's only gone for a few seconds before he's back with the kit under his arm and a quick detour to where Abel's cigarettes were and he's back sitting in front of the other.

Wrapping Abel's hands is as gentle as it could be and a mostly silent affair, "You can sleep some more if you'd like. We don't have to rush to get anywhere today." Yes, he did wanna take Abel away from this place for a few days but there wasn't a rush to get there.

When he's done, he taps a cigarette out of the box and offers it before lighting it.

Jonathan can probably feel Abel's eyes on him. The other was watching him as the other gave him fresh bandages. His gaze didn't seem harsh though. Tired, but almost curious. As though he was observing the other in a casual manner versus one that was usually more scrutinized.

The other can watch Abel as he takes the cigarette from him. The way his fingers shook as it made the effort to bend and the way his brows furrowed in pain as he forced them to. Something so simple was such a struggle, yet the injuries were technically self inflicted. "Thank you." He takes a drag and that seems to get him to relax a bit.

"If I go back to sleep, I'll want to sleep all day." He purses his lips for a moment before speaking again. "I was promised that you would take me out of here and get to see what it's like outside. I would rather see that than to spend time sleeping."

Even if it was just a moment.

A taste of freedom.

He didn't mind the other's eyes on him, if anything, he was used to it at this point.

Watching Abel struggle with his cigarette looked rather painful and he wishes there was more that he could do to help in that regard but that sort of thing was out of his control. Rest and time to heal is all he could allow the other, "You're welcome."

Jonathan leans around Abel for the ashtray he kept on his bedside table, grabbing it to set on the bed closer to him, "Well again, there's no rush. We can leave after breakfast and once we get you dressed, sound good?"

There was still a bit more time before breakfast would arrive, making it best to knock out a few things beforehand, "Would you like me to pack a bag for you or would you like to be subjected to more t-shirts and free clothes from my sisters?" He asks with a bit of a head tilt. If it was the former, he had a spare bag in his room that he could put everything into and make an excuse if they're stopped that it was a few things he forgot to take back home.

Not that he expects anyone to really stop them, only snitch on them once they leave the premises to his father and the eventual tally of how long they'd be gone for to be used against them.

"What time is it?" Abel rarely kept track of the time in all honesty. He had merely relied on his valet keeping track of it and ushering him along to wherever he needed to be on time. It was also a concept that was lost to him with how long his hours tended to be and how little sleep he sometimes got.

He looks at his cigarette for a moment before he replies. "There's no need to pack a bag." It wasn't because he was sure that they would give him clothes, but that he didn't think that this trip would be very long where he would really need to pack too much, if at all. He knew exactly what he was doing by agreeing to this.

And he also knew that Jonathan probably had no idea in return.

He wanted it though. Even just a taste of it.

"Nearly nine-thirty." Jonathan had tilted the underside of his wrist to glance at the clock face for the time. Time was something he was rather passionate about, well, more towards clocks themselves but it was all the same.

He nods at Abel's decision to not pack a bag, it was one less thing to worry about and less suspicion on them at first glance. He knows there were plenty of spare items back home that the other wouldn't feel like he would be missing anything he might need.

There was a knock on the door between their rooms sometime later and he remembers having shut it when he left the room earlier. Its a brief moment as Jonathan leaves Abel to retrieve the food tray and brings it back in a similar set up as dinner the night before was.

He knows Abel will likely try to eat on his own again, or attempt to, all he can really do is watch the other struggle before offering to help when he felt that the pain might be too much. Jonathan wasn't going to rush anything. When breakfast was nearly finished, he leaves the other again to pick out one of Abel's usual outfits, hoping he didn't mind the combo he had chosen for him.

Eventually, he collects the tray, leaving only the teapot and Abel's cup behind and setting the rest on one of the nearby tables.

Jonathan isn't wrong at all. Abel attempts to eat without any help, but it's impossible for him to actually properly cut anything. He shakily tries to use his knife, but he can't apply the pressure necessary without his hands shaking. Eventually he puts the utensils back down; giving up on doing it on his own. He'll let the other cut his food so he can eat it given that he'd just make a mess at this point.

Abel takes the cup of tea and ends up looking out to the garden from the large glass doors in his study. The doors leading out to the balcony have been sealed sometime ago, so he only ever looks out it now.

He finally turns back to the other. "What exactly are we doing while out?" He barely can remember a time where his life wasn't on a schedule that it doesn't occur to him that things didn't always have to be on some set schedule.

Jonathan leans against the entryway to the study, watching the other until he turned around. He always thought it was odd that Abel never used the balcony but he never questioned it either.

"Anything you want. My folks want to meet you but we don't have to go over immediately unless you want to. We can visit anything in the city or you can try new foods, doesn't have to be fancy." He replies, tilting his head as he was trying to think of places to go and to visit that might interest Abel. "You have free rein while we're off the grounds."

There were so many places and activites that he's not sure Abel has ever experienced like aquariums or visiting a skating rink or just mundane things like listening to a street musicians or watching street art be made. He wanted Abel to have control for once to experience what he wanted.

"Anything I want," Abel repeats for a moment. He seemed to be at an honest loss at that. "I don't know what I want." He didn't have any real aspirations. Any dreams. He perhaps had some when he was younger, but it was easier to not have any. He wouldn't be constantly disappointed that way. His life had been built for someone else all this time that he earnestly didn't know what to do with the idea of making his own decisions. To spend his time for his own enjoyment.

Truly a man who had everything, yet nothing at all.

"I don't know what average people do." He lived a completely different world than Jonathan did. Completely disconnected from the average folk.

There's a soft smile on Jonathan's face before he pushes himself off the frame of the study's entrance, "It's alright. If something comes to mind, you can just tell me and I'll try my best to deliver." He can understand how suddenly the freedom to choose for the first time could be overwhelming. "And if being around too many people becomes bothersome, we can leave whenever you want as well."

All this time, he's seen the other interact around parties and meetings and generally small gatherings versus the amount in the general public space. In a city like this one, he can't imagine the number of thoughts he'd hear but he wanted to give him an option to leave should it be too much and any given point.

"I can't really say what the average person does since it differs so much but you'll get some sort of idea while we're out." Someone else's routine could be completely different from the next person and Jonathan was rather terrible at making such comparisons. "I'll let you finish your cup and we'll get you dressed and ready." He says as he leaves the other to have some time to himself for a bit.

Abel frowns a little at that. Not because he thinks he's being belittled, but because he was trying to wrap his mind around the scope of just how many people he would be exposed to. He had mostly been in contained spaces. He had some public events he attended, but they were very scarce.

He just only makes a sound to confirm he acknowledge what the other was saying, but seemed to be mulling over Jonathan's words.

When he's ready, he knocks on the adjoining door of their rooms before opening it. Abel wasn't wearing the usual finely tailored and pressed suit he usually wore. He wore slacks over his oxfords. He wore a dress shirt with a sweater vest with an argyle pattern over it. Draped over his arm was a beige trench coat and cashmere scarf. While, not exactly cheap, it was still a far cry from his usual. "I believe I'm ready."

Jonathan had sat at the table in the time Abel was getting ready, wondering if the other could manage on their own, whilst idly tapping at the schedule that always sat on top. The blank spot that covered the days Abel gave him off and what was expected to be done when they were supposed to get back. He's quick to forget it when the knock on the door comes.

He leans back in the chair as Abel walks through and Jonathan can't help the slow look over. There's a slow forming grin, "You look good." He says before he's fumbling over his words as if making up for something he said wrong, "N-Not that you didn't always... look good. This is just... a much softer silhouette compared to your usual. It's nice."

Jonathan rubs at the back of his neck and gives a soft cough before he pushes off the seat, keys in hand, "If you have everything that you need, let's get this show on the road then."

Walking through the estate was a tad nerve-wracking, past the family guards and staff as if nothing was suspicious. Opening the door for Abel came next when they managed to reach the driveway, thankfully without anyone stopping them to ask where they were going.

While the drive from the estate to the city wasn't a long one, it was enough that if Abel wanted to, he could doze off for a little.

Abel actually flushes a little when the other looks him over and compliments his appearance. He can only run bandaged fingers through his hair sheepishly. "T-Thanks." He usually doesn't get flustered over something like this, but maybe because he wasn't aiming to dress to impress. Or maybe because the other was so genuine and he can hear it in his thoughts as much as he can hear it in Jonathan's words.

He's embarrassed.

So he just follows the other quietly out and to the car. He had never been in just, well, a normal car. It had always been the most expensive cars with luxurious insides. This was very different, but it wasn't bad. He settles into the chair before looking out the window.

Even though he's exhausted, he doesn't sleep. Instead, he spends the entire time looking out the window; fingers gently pressed against the glass as he watches the scenery go by them as Jonathan drives. Completely transfixed.

Jonathan had to stare for a moment. He'd never really seen Abel so genuinely flustered before especially at a compliment. He was so used to him eating up the attention that he didn't think something like this was even possible. It was rather adorable.

His car is definitely not as fancy as the ones they get driven around in, still looking practically brand new given how rarely he actually uses it in comparison.

Jonathan manages a few glances in Abel's direction, watching him stare at the world with an almost child-like fascination. As if he was just now seeing everything for the first time. When the scenery changes to the city-scape, he drives a little slower, taking his time driving through various streets with no clear destination before he does eventually park somewhere.

There's a bit of a crowd, mostly of the tourist sort, but there was sightseeing that could be done here and a few restaurants, museums, cafes and little food places, Abel could try if he wanted.

He steps around to Abel's side to open the door for him, "If you want to leave at any point, just let me know, okay?"

There was never any real interest in the outside world in all the times they had gone into the city. No matter how many times he attended a concert or ballet or opera or whatever influential party he had attended, he never had been interested. Maybe it was because he knew that his attendance was set in stone. There was no wandering the city streets or seeing the sights. It was going from point A to point B then back to point A.

Now though? It was very different to know that there wasn't a limit. For the first time, the cage door was open and he could be in it instead of viewing it from a cage.

Stepping out of the car felt so odd. A tentative step into cobblestone before he finds himself standing. No appointments to make or people to meet. No obligations of any kind.

It didn't feel real.

He pulls hos coat on and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his trench as he looks around him. Almost lost. "Leave? I don't know where to start."

Jonathan watches the other with a soft smile, shutting the door behind Abel and locking the car. Giving him a moment to adjust and prepare himself for the long day of exploring.

"How about we start this way?" He asks as he already starts to step backwards in the opposite direction, towards one of the more occupied streets. Jonathan offered a little guidance, here and there, but he wanted Abel to have full control of his experience. He lead him to a few sights, lingered at a park with a fountain as a break, offered a few food places nearby for Abel to try if he wanted.

As many times as he's been to the city, whether it be working with Abel, by himself or with family, watching someone like Abel take it all in like it was the first time was something he likely would never forget. There was that look of wonder almost or the little smile, he thinks, that peeks in the corner of Abel's mouth.

The day passed a lot quicker than he was expecting though. Maybe because he found this rather fun and he was just happy that Abel was enjoying himself for once. He doesn't mention leaving until the other experiences the night life a bit, despite being a bit exhausted himself. A day of walking around would certainly do that to a person.

They had dinner at one of Jonathan's favorite places, a mom and pop restaurant that he and his family are regulars at. The owners tease him a bit when he brings Abel in and gets rather flustered by it, losing his cool for the rest of the meal. There's a street vendor for flowers once they start walking again, that Jonathan leaves Abel for a moment, only to return by giving Abel a single deep-red carnation.

"Thanks for letting me take you away from the estate, even though I didn't exactly give you a choice to decline it." He says, glancing away and rubbing at the back of his neck, "Did you enjoy today in the city?"

He thought that it would be more overwhelming to be around so many people. While the thoughts around him were abundant, it was more like white noise. Perhaps it's because he had always been stuck in situations that he didn't want to be in. With nothing to focus his attention on, all he could do was concentrate on the medley of thoughts around him. Here though, there were other things to focus on. Things to enjoy.

Maybe that was the difference. He had little to enjoy, but here he could appreciate and enjoy himself completely. There was nothing to distract his wandering mind in most situations before. Here though, he has too many things to distract himself with. New experiences one after the other. Being a nobody in a grand city was...nice.

They spend much of their time just wandering. In particular, Jonathan finds the other dragging him into quaint little bookstores and music shops. It seemed that Abel had hobbies and interests of some sort. Particulars that was hard to know about because all he did was work. Yet, Abel seemed to be particularly fond of romance novels and he seemed rather taken with music; spending a rather long amount of time admiring some beautifully restored violins or lingering at sleek pianos. He didn't buy anything, but at least Abel seemed to not be completely devoid of any interests.

If he was tired, he shows very little signs of being so. Perhaps there was just too many things to enjoy for him to think about how his body aches. It isn't until they're eating dinner that he really feels it catching up.

He doesn't answer his question right away as he examines the flower in his hand. His mother was an avid gardener. He remembers the time he spent with her when he was younger. Before things turned for the worst. The meaning wasn't lost to him. "Quite so. It's far more interesting than behind a tinted glass window." He looks over at Jonathan. "Were there particular reasons you chose a carnation and in this color, Jonathan?"

As the other pulled him along, he made it a point to pay attention to the little things. Jonathan wasn't a musician or by any sense musically inclined but the instruments in the music shop were beautiful. Watching the other spend his time staring at such things made him wonder but he's also glad to find out what might pique the other's interests.

He was elated to hear that Abel enjoyed the day's adventure. He's not sure if they'll ever get the opportunity to do this sort of thing again after these next few days but it was worth it.

Jonathan knew very little about flower language, what he did know, he learned from the little sister of one of the agents working under his parents who owned a flower shop. She was patient with him the few times he was ordered to ever bring flowers for any of his jobs, giving him little crash courses here and there.

So when Abel asks him about the choice of carnation and its color, he flusters a bit more, "I thought... a rose would be too formal." A rose and a carnation had similar meanings along with the color red, however, the rose was the only one of the two that had another meaning attached to the number you gave.

His voice softens a little as he focuses on the flower in Abel's hand, "It means love and affection from what I was told." Jonathan could have easily picked a flower in yellow for friendship or something else entirely but he didn't. At first, it was just a going to be a simple gesture, one he's done before with others but now that he's having to explain himself, he knows its more than that.

He might as well be honest about his choice, had he not, Abel could very well have read his thought process. "Sorry... should I not have?" He asks.

"I used to garden with my mother," Cain comments. It's innocuous, but Cain rarely talks about any details about himself. "She quite fancied flower language."

He looks at the flower in his hand again; brows furrowing a little as he twirls it. "You know that it won't work out, right?" It isn't an outright denial of his emotions or a proper rejection, but an observation. As if he can freely pursue his valet. Cain didn't have the luxury of getting to choose who he wanted to be with. He didn't have that kind of freedom.

"The sentiment is nice though. Thank you. You know you're really much too kind," he replies with a soft smile. "An absolute idiot though. I don't know why you go out of your way, honestly. I can read your thoughts, yet I really don't understand." Jonathan is so simple to understand, yet perplexes him so much.

"Really? I never would'v taken you as someone with a bit of a green thumb." Jonathan replies, he keeps the little fact in mind if he ever gives Cain flowers again in the future. It was nice to learn more about him than just what he kept at the surface.

When the other reminds him that this sort of arrangement would never work out, he smiles a little, "I know." A valet falling for his charge was always going to be a bit of a double edge sword and he knows nothing longstanding may come from it. Even if it was a secret they held in subtle touches or behind closed doors, it was bound to hurt both of them if Cain's father found out. "Still... It doesn't hurt to try, right?"

The acceptance of the flower makes Jonathan smile wider, his gaze lingering on Cain's soft smile. Though, his expression is quick to change to being fake hurt at being called an idiot, chuckling it off. "Treating people I care about to nice things that may make them happy is just what I do. There aren't any hidden strings."

He holds out his arm, "Do you want to go home or did you still want to walk around for a bit?"

"Gardening is probably a strong word for pouring water onto plants until she told me to stop less I drown them," Cain replies back. "My mother enjoyed tending them and I enjoyed spending time with her. I believe I spent more time admiring than actual gardening." He also hadn't done those kind of things in a long while. Decades.

And he can't help but laugh. It's such a naive statement. Another reminder that he would be dirtying the other and causing unnecessary heartache for the other. Jonathan deserved much more than a jaded man who had no freedom or happiness in his future. "I think if you have to ask, you already know the answer." Cain doesn't give the other an answer, but perhaps there's something warning in his tone.

A click of his tongue. "I really don't understand," he reiterates, but ultimately drops the subject.

"I'm tired. I think I've had enough of the city for the day." It's a good ache though. Physically and mentally. An experience he won't be forgetting for the rest of his life.

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